March 3, 2005 - "You have Cancer, here's a tissue"

Today my husband dropped me off at the general surgeon's office for my post-op follow up appt. to get my pathology report. He then went on to take my mom to the airport so she could fly back to Vegas. The report came back positive for cancer, and the margins were not clear, meaning that they did not get it all. The general surgeon recommended an immediate mastectomy be done the following week on 3/8. Here I sat alone in this room while he told me this news. He basically told me I had cancer, handed me a tissue and walked out. I felt like my world came crashing down. As much as I tried to prepare myself for this, I wasn't prepared for that. I had been positive, and hopeful. Sometimes I just wonder what I did to piss God off? I went over to the hospital for pre-op labwork and a chest x-ray. It sank in that I needed my mom to watch Nat next week when I had surgery, I had better call her quick before she gets on that plane. Luckily the airline was very understanding and let her extend her stay at no charge. Also, my general Surgeon did not reveal the true nature of my pathology at this time, in fact it wasn’t until I received copies of my medical records that I learned what type of cancer I had and what the report read: Infiltrating Ductal Carcinoma; Stage 2; T2 N0 M0; Tumor Grade 3; Tumor Size 2 x 2x 1.5 cm; Estrogen Receptor Positive (90%); Progesterone Receptor Positive (5-10%); Her-2/Neu Negative (score of 1+); DNA Ploidy = Diploid; S Phase 2.2%