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July 11, 2005 – Ok, so there was a reason behind feeling desolate….

It’s kind of because we were. Sometime last week some of Ruben’s aunt’s and uncle’s came into town to visit from California, and his mom took time off from work, then Friday it happened. I put Natalie to bed in Danny’s bed like instructed and she woke up alone. She waited most of Saturday for Grandma to come home and she never did. She started crying, which in turn made me cry, especially when she said Grandma broke her heart by not coming home. She wanted to spend time with Grandma and Tia. I tried explaining to her that she is just too young to go to the casino and that is what Grandma likes to do, then it happened again. One of Ruben’s other uncle’s came and picked up Danny. Just when I finally got Natalie settled down, she was upset all over again. Why does Danny get to go to the casino at Stateline and not her? So I had to explain it all over again that Uncle Danny is old enough to wonder around the hotel by himself and go to the arcade, and she’s not. She can’t be walking around by herself without getting lost or a stranger snatching her up. So it was just me, Natalie, and Lexie. All by ourselves, abandoned if you will. Sure Uncle Rudy was still here, but he works 3 – 11, so we hardly saw him. To make Natalie feel better, I told her she could sleep with me, which really didn’t help my sleeping problems! Even poor Lexie was moping around Sunday night sad because Grandma hadn’t been home in several days to give the spoiled dog her hot dog that she gets fed nightly. I tried everything to perk her up, but the poor dog is already missing Ruben, and now with an empty house and no nightly hot dog, is she too suffering from depression? At least when we woke up today we found that Rudy had went and picked up Danny last night – but still no Grandma. If nothing else, at least I am getting a lot of mommy time with Natalie.
On another note, I was thinking last night when I was updating my blog, I used to get up at 4:30 in the morning to go to work, then we moved and I could hardly get out of bed by 9, and now I barely make it up by 11…..where’s my life going to be in the next 6 months? I set my alarm, and I still sleep thru it….why am I so tired???

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