June 15, 2005 – Crying in Wal-Mart

Have you ever stood in a middle of a Wal-Mart aisle and cried? Well let me tell you, today I did, and at that moment, I don’t think I could have been at a more perfect spot. All that was missing were the pajama pants, slippers, and hair rollers. Oh wait, I have no hair. Of all places to be at while crying on the phone. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, I was on the phone. Ruben had just called to tell me that he’s not coming down for Father’s Day after all. Guess it’s a good thing I hadn’t told Natalie yet. Although part of me wants to blame him, it’s not his fault. Really it’s not. He has business he has to take care of on Monday and cannot take the day off, really, truly, honestly, I swear. Trust me, he’d rather be with his girls. I’m just upset because I was really looking forward to it and I miss him so! All in a days work of being an area supervisor I suppose. Instead he’ll come down for the 4th of July.

But on a good note, I went shopping at a scrapbook store (yay!) and I got a card in the mail today. I was expecting the pictures from my friend Sonia, and with them she also sent a card saying sorry she hadn’t been able to spend any time with me, and that she hoped the pictures brought a smile to my face – and they did, but not as much as the card! Thanks for the card Sonia, but to be honest, I'd really rather see you. I know, at least the card gave me something to be happy about today. But as Ruben is convinced, I'm not happy unless I'm bitching.

To compromise or not?.........I don't know why I have such high standards for the people in my life - I guess because they are the same high standards I hold myself to when presenting myself to others, I just have come to expect the same. Guess after all I have been through with my brother and all my friends, it's time to lower some of those standards....or should I?