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How do you deal with kids & their drama?

Ever since moving here it seems we're constantly facing an uphill battle when it comes to neighborhood kids and the melodrama that accompanies them - and I'm just not sure how to handle it!
Usually when Natalie and her friends are having problems getting along, I usually just tell them to chill out and work things out for themselves. I try not to involve myself too much for many reasons, 1 being that the kids need to learn how to play well with one another and solve their own problems, and 2 that as a newcomer myself to this neighborhood, I feel that I don't have solid, secure friendships with all or even most parents. I don't want to make a rift with others, which is why I often put up with nerve-wrecking, cry-baby, tattle-tale behavior from kids on the block. The only time I really get involved is when Ruben and I have just had enough bickering or when there is a fight, and someone is left crying cause they are hurt. Which is to say that we REALLY tolerate A LOT! I do this so that I can gain friendship for myself, as well as for my child. I don't want her to be the neighborhood outcast! Trying to fit in with new neighbors is NOT an easy task. I find that when I'm not keeping to myself, I am going out of my way to say thanks or buy expensive gifts just so my child can fit in and have playmates. I even bite my tongue when I see how certain kids regularly use her for the things we have, and abuse her at times by being out-right mean. Sometimes just sitting and idly watching can be so heart-wrenching for me, because she truly does not deserve the way she is treated at times. As if that weren't bad enough, I often hear kids making rude comments to her, asking if she will end up being fat like her me, or other people pointing out qualities as if she's the only kid on the block that has them. You don't see me telling others that their kids are constant tattle-tales or crybabies - nor telling the kids to stop coming over just to use her for her material possessions. My guess is that parents will always see their child as an angel, who can do no wrong so they always place the blame on others. Well if only those parent really knew how their kid behaves when not at home! I know my child is no angel, and in no way innocent - but I also know that it always takes two to tango, this is something I've witnessed for myself and have even been out-right lied to by other kids as they are trying to save their ass.
But in spite of it all I often find myself wondering why she is singled out, why some people behave the way they do around her, why she is excluded from certain activities or rules, but mostly just how to cope with all the drama without punishing the few good friends she has, or herself.
Luckily next week Grandma will be here visiting for 3 weeks which means she will be spending most time inside away from others - and shortly after she leaves, our new neighbors and their 4 kids will be moving in and she will be making more friends, which I hope will go smoothly.
Tell me, what advice do you have for me regarding these issues other than moving, as that's really not an option since I love my house so much! Please let me know your thoughts on this subject as I could really use some help here!

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