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Where do I begin?

First let me start off by saying that I've sat by quietly wondering if I should make a post. They say that if you don't have anything good to say, then you shouldn't say anything at all. It's not like I am a negative person, it's just that I'm a realist. There are positive and negative moments in every day, and I except them as they are, try to learn from them, and cherish what I can. This past week or so has been especially trying for me. I sat back not sure if I should say anything, but have since concluded that this is my blog where I share the good and the bad of my life with others - so basically I should be able to say whatever I want. That said, let's start at the somewhere near the beginning...........
I've been very busy with daily doctor appointments for the last week and a half. Aside from that, I've been very stressed out due to many of those appointments.
Last week I get a call from my brother who is having money issues again, and is severely short on funds to make his rent for November. My step-dad has been re-imbursing me for all the money I've paid out so far to help him out, but told me last time that it had to stop. Unfortunately I don't have enough money to support my brother, nor do I have the heart to break the news to him - so I told my step-dad that he would have to be the one to call him and tell him that he wouldn't help him anymore. Well I'm not sure how that turned out, cause when my brother called me needing money I told him he'd have to call our step-dad. I also sent a rather hurtful email to him, as this whole situation is tearing me apart inside and breaking my heart, not to mention stressing me out to the max and I have a surgery coming up on the 6th and cannot handle this anymore. I was not raised to turn my back on needy family, so this whole concept is new to me. So I'm still not sure how all this has turned out because I haven't gotten a return email or any phone calls - but let me just summarize that if my brother has not been taken care of and has been kicked out of his apartment, I will be beyond a bitch. I am not someone you ever want to fuck with or piss off cause I will find a way of making every day of your living life fucking hell. That said, I think it's time to move on as I am getting upset again.
So anyway, as if that weren't enough, I saw a new oncologist on the 22nd, afterwards I went down to have labs done for both him and my plastic surgeon. Well after starving all day, and waiting forever, I gave in and ate a piece of candy they had there. Well needless to say I was supposed to fast for one of his tests, so instead I just had my pre-op blood drawn. A few days later I found out from my surgeon's office that they totally screwed up after fishing for and popping my vein, and didn't run the proper lab tests and I needed to go have them re-done. That sucked cause I am not a fan of bloodwork, since I have delicate veins - and since they majorly fubarred the tests, I decided I was not going there to have my other labs drawn or to get my bone scan. Well my oncologist only works out of 2 places, so it was either there or an hour drive. I said hell with it, I'll find a new oncologist then. So I had my blood drawn again at the surgery center this time, hopefully they won't make any errors - especially since they will be hosting my procedure on the 6th. I'll also be having another procedure done a few weeks after this one, but I'm not sure exactly when or where yet.
Also I just had an eye exam as I needed new contacts desperately. Of course I get there and I'm having problems focusing, and find out that something was wrong with my eyes and had to wear my glasses (which are the wrong scripts!) for a week and use these medicated drops. All that had me very freaked cause this guy was acting like a jerk and I wasn't sure if he'd even give me contacts again. He acted like I was mis-using them and this and that. Fact is I scratched my cornea. Not sure how, but I rub my eyes a lot, sometimes hard, so it could have been from an eyelash. So finally after a couple weeks and some check ups, I am finally back into contacts - a trial pair while I wait for my order to come in. But man is it nice to actually be seeing clearly again!
Oh, I also had 2 teeth pulled last week. After seeing 3 different dentist, this had been the only one that I could get to even agree to do something. Fixing them was not an option (or so he said). He claimed no dentist would ever agree to work on my mouth due to the medications I take. He yanked them while giving me gas, and only a few shots of Novocaine. I felt the one come out, and man has my mouth hurt since!
I can't deal with medical problems and personal issues just before a surgery. My system can't handle the stress. Unfortunately my face takes the brunt of it in the form of acne. No matter what I use (ProActiv, Aveeno, Cetaphil, Clearasil, or other products with either Benzoyl Peroxide or Salicylic Acid) NONE of them really work, and I still develop blemishes while using it - all because my acne is either stress induced or as a result of chemo and medications. I'm tired of people always asking me what's wrong with my face! How rude is that! I look them straight in the eye and say nothing is wrong with my face, it's acne - while in the back of my head I'm following up that statement with what's wrong with yours. Actually I should say that next time, cause this last time this little old lady asked me, and I just really wanted to say something rude to her because really, as if I don't feel stressed out and bad enough after a crappy week I have to listen to this 70 year old lady rudely ask about some blemishes on my face. Luckily I use a digital camera, I so love the healing brush in Photoshop - it fixes all those pesky spots!
I will say that at least Halloween was a lot of fun, although it was rather warm and my make-up was running off my face! It was a long, tiring, fun-filled evening. We were even surprised to find that our HUGE cauldron of candy still had a few inches left in it, but it was A LOT of candy, so we must of had lots of trick o' treaters here, or the people just took handfuls of candy. I'm just glad we didn't get tee-pee'd that's why we left a huge cauldron of candy out, cause I for one don't think it's quite right to decorate for Halloween, then not be home to give out candy on the big night. We knew we'd be going to Imperial Woods again this year, but wanted to make sure we left something for all our neighbor kids. Looks like it turned out well, judging by the left-overs. I posted lots of pictures from our night, plus many more over at Flickr.
Other than that I've been mostly trying to chill out the last few nights. Ruben will be going to Vegas on the 10th and will be gone for 8 days. Danny will be going home then. It will be just me and Nat, and I'll be on the mend from surgery. I need to relax and de-stress. The procedure that is coming up is just a minor day surgery, but still, being this tense is not good for me and has the potential to mess with the healing. Wish me luck that this week goes better!

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