August 6, 2005 – This cannot be happening again!

We spent most of the day packing everything up, as we’re leaving tomorrow to finally go home. Before bed, I decide to take a nice, hot, relaxing bath. As I lather up I feel this really distinct feeling, a feeling you never forget. As soon as I felt it I yelled for Ruben, I wanted to make sure I was really feeling what I was feeling. He saw the look of panic in my eyes and confirmed that it was indeed a lump, although it was different somewhat than my first lump. He asked me what I wanted to do, if this changed anything. I told him no, it doesn’t change anything. I want to go home, that is where my original mammogram films are, and they will want those to compare any new films to if it goes that far. I told him I would wait till Monday and check again, and if it’s still there I would call Dr. Cain and make an appointment. I don’t even know how it could possibly happen, with just going through chemo, and the chemotherapy agent pills I still take daily. All I know is that this lump wasn’t there Thursday.