The Aftermath of Katrina

New Orleans, Still a Forgotten City

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Every Scar Tells a Story

Jacki Donaldson, writer for That's Fit is featuring my port-a-cath scar revision story over at her Breast Cancer Blog, CancerSpot.org . Please stop by and check it out!

I like this tree

Every day I ride my bike through the neighborhood. And every time I go
through this one area I stop to admire this live oak. Isn't it
gorgeous? Well today I finally remembered to stop and take a picture.
It looks like the ones you see in movies. This is a southern oak at
it's finest.

Today on my ride I had a beautiful stray lab running next to me. I was
going to take a picture but by time I got my phone out of my pocket he
had got tired and stopped. Maybe next time.

Come Monday this should look better

Monday I will be checking into the hospital for my ELEVENTH breast surgery. Hopefully this will be my last one. Aside from removing capsular contracture, and repositioning my implant, my surgeon is going to perform a revision to my port-a-cath scar. It's not much, but this scar hurts like a sonabitch. I can't stand to have my seatbelt across my shoulder. And whatever you do, don't touch it cause I still have some of those nylon sutures in the midst of all this scar tissue. So I'm really hoping that will all change come next week and it's all healed. So say bye bye ugliness!

Rain, rain go away!

Today I was out running errands before my surgery on Monday, and let me just say the weather was god-awful. I got soaked on several occasions. It seems to have let up now, so I'm debating about whether or not I should go for my bike ride or not. I'm afraid it will start raining half way through it.

Facebook Addiction

Alright, I admit it. I'm addicted to Facebook and may soon need an intervention. The problem is they have these games that are so damn addictive. It's like Hotel California I swear. You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave. The past 2 weeks I've been scrapbooking like crazy. 15 pages, which is more than I created in the last 2 or 3 years combined. Thing is I would probably have done more if it weren't for stupid FarmVille. I don't think I've ever been sucked into a game like I have with that or the others made by Zynga. Aside from the games though, I've really enjoyed talking with old friends. They're all sure to make me LOL daily. I feel bad for neglecting my blog, but most of the blogs I read have also slowed down a lot. Anyway, if you're looking for me, well now you know where to find me. I'll be tending to my farm. LOL!

The Beginning of Fall

Fall is officially here, at least to me it is. I know that technically fall doesn't start for a while. But since school is back in session, it is for all intensive purposes, fall. Now I just wish that we would have fall like weather as well, then I would be absolutely tickled.

Natalie started school this past Thursday, which I honestly don't see the point to. I mean really, what good is it to go for two whole days? Monday will be her first full week. I am thoroughly enjoying the peace and quiet. Especially now that I am scrapbooking again, which I didn't get to actually do enough of this past week.

I spent one day attempting to organize all our pictures, which isn't quite as bad as it seems. It turns out that I have not printed any pictures since December 2005. Needless to say I am uploading obscene amounts of pix to have printed. And while I said I spent a day organizing photos, that did not include organizing digital files, which I need to do desperately. Luckily I have files left to go through, cause after my hard drive frying last weekend, I wasn't sure if I had lost everything or not. As it turned out, I had backed up about 6 months ago, so the loss was minimal.

Wednesday Natalie lost her first molar. I panicked when she told me it was loose. For some reason I didn't think it was normal for a molar to be loose. But my friend Joanna told me it was normal and no big deal. I was so relieved cause I thought for sure we'd have to make an emergency visit to the dentist. Natalie got to meet her new teacher at a back to school bash at the school. Afterwards, we attempted to watch a Saints practice game. But due to the weather it had been canceled. It really had me bummed, cause I was looking forward to hopefully getting some pictures and autographs...oh well, I'm going to try to make it to the practice tomorrow mourning if I can. Thursday Natalie came home from school missing another tooth! She had lost her second molar while at school. Thing is, we didn't even know it was loose!













Friday Ruben hooked up my new computer. He had gotten all the parts in on Thursday, and got it all put together. Once Natalie got home from school, we got ready to head to the Dome. Ruben was given tickets to the first pre-season game against the Bengals. We're splitting season tickets with one of his friends from work, so we get to go to half of the regular season games and maybe both pre-season ones. It seems everyone at the office had plans and were unable to go to the game. So we had extra seats. Me, Ruben, Danny and Natalie got to go, and we had two extra tickets to bring along our friends Arlene and Abby. We had a lot of fun, and the Saints won. I have some 500 pictures to go through and post onto Flickr, but here are a few for you to enjoy now.....

Scrapping Away

I've been a busy little bee this past week. Last Saturday I finally decided that it was time to get back into my scrap studio and create something. I completed one layout for each day this past week, and still going strong. That's why I haven't blogged any.

Aside from scrapbooking I followed up at the clinic, losing 10 lbs. since we returned from Disney. Then Thursday, Natalie and I had a girls day out since Ruben was out of town. We went out to lunch at Buffalo Wild Wings, then we did a little shopping, went to the salon and got her hair cut and brows done. Yesterday Ruben came home just in time for me to fry my desktop computer that was in my scrap studio. I kept getting error messages about corrupt files, and Firefox would just shut down in the middle of whatever I was doing. So Ruben suggested I install this program that would help resolve any issues. Well as I was restarting the computer after install, I got an error message that basically said this hard drive is screwed. It wouldn't boot up at all, not even in safe mode. Needless to say, I was a bit depressed when I went to bed last night. I had no idea if any of my files had been backed up, as it had been several months since I had even turned it on.

I couldn't wait till this morning to hook up my laptop and start checking all my external drives. So far it looks like I have everything, or at least everything that I know of. Ruben's researching parts to build me a new one. It really bummed me out cause I have been sitting here all week scrapping and playing on Facebook, but it's all good now. You have no idea just how addictive that damn Farkle game is - as is the silly farm games, and war games I've been playing while creating.

Oh, I do have some good news to share with everyone. I'm so excited, even though it's not that big a deal.....I just found out that one of my photos of Jackson Square is being used in Schmap New Orleans Eight Edition. No, I'm not getting paid for the use of my photo. But I am getting recognition, and that's just as good for now. So that's what's going on here. Please check out the link above for Schmap and also take a look at my Flickr account. I posted my layouts there along with some pictures of Natalie's new do.

Broken Window

Friday we noticed that something appeared wrong with one of our new
windows. The new windows that are supposed to be unbreakable and
hurricane rated. The windows that withstood Ruben standing on them.
Upon closer inspection we did indeed find the pane was cracked and we
don't know how it happened. It's a second floor window and there's no
sign of anything hitting it or chipping it. Luckily there's a lifetime
warranty on glass breakage. One that also has limits and exclusions. We
called the window company expecting a fight and what we got was no
questions asked. They must know that something like this has to be a
defect in the materials. They ordered a new pane and in a few weeks
things should be good as new again.

Summer's Drawing to a Close

Summer is dwindling down, and will be over before you know it. Not summer the season, but summer vacation. In just 13 more days Natalie will be going back to school. I've already done all her back to school shopping for supplies, uniforms, and necessities. Which is always fun, except for all the money spent on such items. Though I love the whole school uniform thing cause it's no hassle, I hate that we're buying 2 whole sets of wardrobe....one that she only wears to school. I'm both relieved and worried. We've had enough issues in the past with certain teachers, and faculty members at the school that I'm just really not looking forward to do it all over again. I personally cannot wait until she is out of this elementary school and into middle school next year. But I am trying to keep an open mind, and remain somewhat hopeful that this year and this teacher will be different.

One of my biggest concerns is that Natalie has really gotten into playing this one video game, and doing stuff online and I'm afraid that it will interfere with her desire to learn and excel. I'm just not sure how to get her excited anymore. Maybe it's time to try Sylvan, or at least it will be if this year doesn't go according to plan. I checked out their website and found that they have samples you can download for grades K-5, and a partner site called Book Adventure where you can search for grade appropriate books, and quizzes which will come in real handy! This way I can make sure that not only is she reading, but that she's comprehending! I'm going to have to weed through all my old links and check out what other types of tools I can find to help her succeed.

Other than gearing up for school there really hasn't been a whole lot going on around here. I've been doing lots of reading. I finished my Walt Disney book. I read the MJ Unmasked book in under 12 hours - which let me just say that not all the sensational claims lived up to the hype. It did manage to change my opinion on a thing or two, but it wasn't quite the bombshell it was supposed to be. Now I am onto reading Night World.....yes, more vampire books. I'm really having a difficult time finding just the right books. Some I've picked up are just too lame, and others I just can't fully get into. But so far I am enjoying the first book even though it is considered "young adult."
Ruben and I are still dieting. I've lost 10 pounds since we came back from Disney 3 weeks ago, and Ruben has lost 18. Though I swear you can't see it on either of us. The only difference I've noticed lately is that it seems my panties are a bit larger. I know this cause they are constantly bothering me because they shift and ride up. Had they fit right I wouldn't be having this problem. I wish I could actually see the difference. I'd think that with all the walking I've been doing that my legs would slim down some, but they haven't really. Or at least not noticeably. I go back to the clinic next week for another weigh in, so I'm hoping to shave a few more pounds off before then. I'm a little concerned about my surgery coming up for the 24th. I'll probably be resting for about a week, and while I can watch what I eat, I won't be up for walking or biking. I'm hoping that the inactivity doesn't affect me in a huge way!

While I'm looking forward to the peace and quiet that comes with back to school, I feel as if I'm in a race against time. It's not like we have any last minute vacation getaway planned, but I would like to do something before school starts again. Perhaps if the weather isn't too bad we can visit a park or zoo, or even catch another movie or something. Do you have any plans to celebrate the end of summer?

Thank GOD!

According to this report Kim K, reality ho and Reggie Bush, Saints
Running Back have broken up. Maybe now we'll have a winning season!

http://blog.newsok.com/gossip/2009/07/27/kim-kardashian/

New Moon Footage

Just wanted to share some New Moon footage that was shown at Comic Con this year. I'm not sure when there will be an official release of these trailers, as this footage was not to be seen by anyone outside of Comic Con. But someone was kind enough to break the rules, tape this, and post it on YouTube. Enjoy.

Blackberry Cobbler

I was mashing up some blackberries to make blackberry water (it's a Mexican thing, Ruben's family blends water and sugar with whatever ripe berries or melons are around. It is very good!) So I'm sprinkling sugar on them and mashing them up, and it dawned on me that I should actually be making cobbler out of them. Blackberry cobbler was my absolute favorite dessert mom made. Problem is I don't know the first thing about making cobbler. I read somewhere that you can use already prepared pie crust, but I don't think it taste the same. If that is a shortcut, there has got to be a better way to spice it up. I'm hoping that someone can tell me the right way to make a cobbler - and hopefully one that's not to difficult!

Speaking of my mom, tomorrow is the 3rd anniversary of her death. I think I can honestly say that it has finally gotten a tad better, but not by much. It's times like this that make things the most difficult. Like thinking about something she used to make, something I never learned how. I think that so much was lost. And not just recipes, but family history, facts, relatives, etc. It's amazing to me how a little thing like blackberries can bring about a flood of emotion. Maybe by using them to make a cobbler I can heal a little.

Distractions, and New Addictions

Like so many others out there, I have seriously been neglecting my blogging duties because of several new time consuming addictions I have picked up recently.

First, all of my spare time was being spent reading. Now that I have finished several different series and books, I have slowed down a bit while I search for new interesting reading material. While I was at Disney I bought a new book after visiting the attraction Walt Disney: One Man's Dream. I found myself both curious and intrigued by what I had learned, and naturally wanted to know more. The book, Walt Disney: An American Original, is a biography of the life of Walt. I'm taking a it a bit slow--so I'm only half way through with it, but so far what I have read, I have really liked.

I've already selected what my next book is going to be. Unmasked: The Final years of Michael Jackson. I know, it's kind of funny. Somehow I've gotten caught up in all this craze since his death....Natalie too. She's been blaring his music at full volume for the last few weeks. Yesterday she was singing Man in the Mirror at the top of her lungs. You could say she's even become a bit obsessed with him and his music. it's funny how much she can take after me at times. In any case, I did the same thing after Anna Nicole Smith died--I bought the book Blonde Ambition.

I've become a Facebook junkie, but not so much for Facebook itself. I accepted a couple invitations and now I'm enthralled with playing Vampire & Mafia Wars. I've even downloaded the apps so I can play them on my iPhone.

All this game time has really interfered with everything else. Though I have been walking at home on the treadmill this past week, I really haven't had much desire to do so. Ruben and I have committed to dieting, and while I've only taken off a few pounds since we returned home, Ruben has gotten off to an excellent start! He's lost 10 pounds already. The first few days all he ate was salad. He even moved the treadmill downstairs to the living room. That way he watches shows he dvr'd while he walks. We made an agreement that if he loses 100 pounds, I'd get him the motorcycle he's been wanting. We really are striving to be healthier. I've just got to get back on track and return to my nightly walks. I just have been feeling like a cold is coming on though--one likely brought on by stress.

Stress has been at an all-time high since we got back. Ruben's company is once again laying off employees. It's quite terrifying when you think about it. I mean here it is hurricane season and we just returned from a vacation in which we spent mostly all of our savings--now add on our new windows, and a review of my case with Social Security. Yeah, all we need now is for Ruben to lose his job. Though it looks like he may be in the clear, at least for now. They laid off and demoted several people from his department across the country, most of whom he knew. On the flip side, he received his 10 year packet from work. It sounds like they have some really great choices this time, lots better than for his 5 year. I was surprised to find out they still offered this given their financial problems. It's a nice surprise. He gets to choose from a foosball table, a Canon camcorder, a Dyson vacuum cleaner among other things. Not bad huh?

Ruben also got confirmation from his advisor. He's all set for classes to begin in September. The school accepted 62 of his credits from ITT. He just needs to take like 18 liberal arts classes in addition to the curriculum for the BSM program. His advisor said everything was all set with his financial aid, and that he's be receiving his books and schedule shortly.

On a final note, my surgery to remove capsular contracture and correct placement issues has been approved. My surgery is scheduled for August 24. I'm excited, and I hope this final surgery really will correct my problems and even things out a bit.

Happy Birthday Ruben!

One of Ruben's friends at work sent him this video for his birthday. I just had to post it here, so everyone could enjoy a good laugh.

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

Home Again

Hi All!

We're back from vacation, and as I type this, some 275 pictures from our trip are slowly being uploaded to Flickr. We had a wonderful vacation with the exception of the heat and rain. I'll never book another trip there in the middle of the summer. It wasn't just that the temp was in the 90's, it's that with the heat index the temperature was well over 110! Heat like that just really zaps the energy right out of ya! We got back Tuesday evening, and we're still trying to settle in. Ruben of course unpacked as soon as we got home - my suitcase is still sitting on the floor. Luckily, the house we rented was equipped with a washer and dryer, so we brought back very little dirty laundry.

Now that we're back, we're hitting the diet hard! I was fortunate enough not to gain anything while we were gone - but I didn't lose any either. Of course there is no such thing as dieting while on vacation, so I ate like a mad woman. I only broke even due to the many miles we walked daily.

Yesterday I finally got my car back from the Dodge dealership after two full months! Once I got in my car I discover that my stereo and XM reciever were not working - and since it's aftermarket equipment they are not responsible for it. I was completely livid, cause the service manager was a complete jerk about it. He tried to make like since he gave me a oil change on the house, that we were even. Ha! A $30 oil change does not make up for possibly frying more than $1000 worth of stereo equipment. Ruben took it to the place that installed it, Car Audio Connection over in Harahan and the guys there fixed it for free. I'm just so relieved that I didn't need a new unit. When they pulled out the deck they found that the dealership hadn't even re-connected the wires. So now I wonder what else they may have done half ass.

Also, yesterday I had a follow up appointment with my plastic surgeon. Sometime in the near future I will be going back into surgery to correct my left breast. I don't really know when yet, cause first we have to get approval from the insurance company. But I will keep you posted.

Seeing Shamu

Today we're at Seaworld -- and let me tell you it's hotter than hell
here! Tomorrow's our last day, before we leave Tuesday afternoon so
we'll be heading back to Hollywood Studios. But today we're going to
check out the shows and rides at Seaworld. There are two pretty cool
looking coasters I can't wait to get on!

Deadly Crash at Disney

Woke up this morning to this news; Early this morning there was a deadly monorail crash at Disney World. WOW, so glad we skipped Disney yesterday - and so thankful that we were not involved in such a horrible accident!

Happy Birthday America!

Today we are taking it easy and avoiding the parks. It's going to be a
lazy day of shopping and swimming. We slept in a bit late this morning
and now we're kicking the day off with breakfast from Cracker Barrel.
I hope everyone has a safe and happy Fourth of July!

Rawrrrrrr

After a delicious Mexican lunch we headed over to the Outpost so
Natalie could get her face painted.

Hello from Hollywood Studios

So far, our trip to Disney has been a wet one. It's raining already
this morning. We have a 70% chance of rain with a high of 89 -- which
I suppose is better than the forecast for Friday that is a 40% chance
of rain and a high of 96. Either way it's humid.
The rain yesterday shut down several rides, which sucked ass. Since
the good rides were closed, the indoor ones were freaken packed! It
was insane. We weren't getting anyway at Magic Kingdom so we hopped
over to Hollywood Studios, where we rode Tower of Terror twice and the
Aerosmith rockin' rollercoaster. We went on a backlot tour and ate at
a 50's diner. The park closed at 7 last night for some private event.
Which was fine cause after dinner we were just too exhausted and
soaking wet to continue.
Not sure what today holds for us. We're off to a wet start today.
Hoping the rain will stop real soon.
::Fingers crossed::

Grabbing Some Grub

Settled into the house and headed out to Downtown Disney to get some
food at Planet Hollywood. We haven't eaten since breakfast this
morning, so we're absolutely starving!

Backseat Buddies

Lexie has FINALLY settled and laid down. Normally with each bump in
the road or roar of the engine she stands up, but I guess she finally
got tired.
Here is Natalie and Lexie enjoying a road trip.

Goodbye Pensacola

We stopped this morning to gas up before hitting the road. This was
the view from the gas station.

On our way.

Decided to leave 10 hours early. Ruben has some Marriott Reward points
that we'll use for a room in Pensacola. We were getting too anxious to
start our vacation to wait till early tomorrow morning. We hit a nice
spout of rain on our way out of town - which is good cause our grass
needed the water.

Vacation Friday

Woohoo! It's vacation Friday. The Friday before vacation begins. We've got a busy weekend ahead of us prepping and packing for our trip. We'll be leaving about 3:00 am Monday morning. While I'm super excited about the trip, I'm bummed that I didn't get my Durango back in time.

I called the dealership yesterday to find out if by some miracle I'd have my car today. I was informed that they had gotten the instrument cluster panel in, however the part was bad. So now they are waiting on a new part to come in. Hopefully one that works! I have no clue as to when they might receive the part, because once again the payment for the part must be approved for by the government.

Another vacation bummer - I didn't lose the 10 pounds I had hoped for. I did however lose enough weight to be back where I was before Ruben's mom came, so that's the bright side of it all. In truth it's all my own fault. My friend Arlene, whom I was walking regularly with had surgery on the 10th and has been on rest orders. I should have pushed myself to go alone, but it's just not the same. Hopefully when I return on the 8th we will begin our walks again. God knows that after Disney I will need to do something, cause they just have way too many yummy treats there to be good and stick to a "diet".

Was yesterday not a completely devastating day? The mass coverage of Michael Jackson's death practically took down the web. The whole ordeal completely overshadowed the death of Farrah Faucet! It was madness. I was waiting at the pharmacy when I read reports of his cardiac arrest on Twitter. Before TMZ confirmed his death, I was on the phone telling Ruben I thought he was dead. The fact that he wasn't breathing when the ambulance was called, and that a photog was threatened when trying to get a picture of him being rolled into the hospital, told me that things were real bad.
If you're on Twitter, did you catch all the RT's of the shameful post Perez Hilton made about Jackson before he found out the entertainer had died? Once it was official, Perez had removed the post. You can see a screen shot of it here. I swear Perez is a douce bag. There is a petition going around to remove Perez Hilton as Teen Choice 2009 Nominee. You can sign it here. Nobody who posts the content he does, nor uses the hateful words he spews, should be considered for an award at a show aimed at kids. HE IS NOT A ROLE MODEL! There are a few other petitions going around calling for his site to be shut down and such. Check out the article from Hollyscoop.

Right now I'm waiting for the press conference from the coroner's office to begin. E! News has a live feed going, but it looks like it might be awhile before we get the results of his autopsy, as the conference has been delayed again for another 2 hours.
I've been paying bills and taking care of other business online while I waited. While on vacation, I don't want to have to get online cause I have to. I'll only do it if I want to, and have the down time to do so. Likely, I will be posting pictures from my phone - maybe making a blog entry or two, as well. I love having a phone that is capable of doing so much! Sometimes I wonder how I ever lived without it. LOL.

It looks like Ruben may be returning to school this fall. That is IF everything works out. He's gotten some info, applied to a couple schools, and submitted his app for a Federal student loan. We gotta wait and see if his loan is approved. Otherwise he'll have to take one class at a time, as money permits. Right now the loan isn't even our biggest concern, it's the fact that ITT cannot locate his transcripts. The campus he attended in Vegas closed awhile back, and for some reason ITT cannot locate the transcripts in their system. He has a copy somewhere around here, but the transcripts must come directly from the school in order to be accepted. So it doesn't much matter that we can't find his copy. We did find his actual degree, which he is going to have to fax over to ITT as proof. We'll just have to see whether it helps any or not. Cross your fingers!

Pictures from the Party

I posted 30-plus pictures from the birthday party we went to yesterday afternoon. You can find them at Flickr, just click on the link to take you there.

Blog Block

Have you ever gone over in your head, a topic you wanted to post about? You get it all planned out, yet when you sit down to type it all up you draw nothing but a blank. That's the way I've been feeling lately. Each time I've sat down to post, my mind just goes blank. Nada, zip, nothing. All I can come up with are ramblings of various odds and ends. So I guess I'll start with that.

Today is the end of my mother-in-law's 3 week visit with us. Her flight leaves at 6 something. These past 3 weeks have went much too fast! I know Ruben is going to be heart broken come tomorrow. The only upside is perhaps I will once again lose weight. The past 2 weeks I've been unable to lose a single pound. In fact I gained 2! I was hoping to be another 15 pounds lighter by our Disney trip in 9 days. It's going to be hard, but I think I might be able to drop 9 if I walk a lot before we leave. Of course I'm likely to gain some of it back while on vacation, but that's ok cause I'm not going to worry about anything except having fun!

Tomorrow we've got to get Ruben's student loan app submitted. He's put off going back to school long enough, so now he's just going to have to buckle down and make the time to do it this fall. We would really like for him to advance further into upper management, and to do that he needs to get his bachelors. The one thing holding him back has been the funds. We both hate the idea of debt, but really who has tens of thousands of dollars to pay upfront? We also need to find out what credits of his associates will transfer over. Some schools like UoP won't accept his credits from ITT, which I think is total bullshit. So he may end up returning to ITT if Tulane or Delgado won't accept them.

Have you seen Benjamin Button yet? We've already watched it twice now, and I have to say that this movie has made me a Brad Pitt fan. Sure I've liked some of his other films, and sure there are a few scenes in BB that appear to be just a bit overly photoshopped. Specifically where made to make Pitt appear younger. But it was this particular film that made me appreciate Pitt for his beauty, though he's had a body of a god for just about all of his films - and he's looked better in some flicks than he has in others. I think I may just have to go back and re-watch some of his prior work now that I can appreciate his, um, talent.

Also, I'm curious, has anyone else been experiencing problems with IE not being able to open certain sites, aborting the operation? I've been having this problem off and on for several weeks with several of the blogs I follow. It's extremely frustrating and I don't know how to fix it. I ran a Google search on it and it seems this problem has been going on for quite a long time. It's a totally annoying pain in the ass! It's really cutting into my blog surfing time.

Ok, well it's off to the showers for me. We have a birthday party to go to later this afternoon before we take ma to the airport. Hope everyone has a great weekend and awesome Father's Day!

HOT, HOT, HOT

We're all piled in the car and heading to Mo's for a late lunch.
According to the car's thermometer it's 100 here in New Orleans. And
this doesn't even factor in the humidty! Hot damn!

Pictures from the Quarter

Yesterday we took my MIL down to the French Market to do some shopping, which I saw as an opportunity to finally put my new camera to use. I didn't get to snap everything I would have liked, cause it was hotter than hell out and all that walking around was tiring.

I have tried several times to post the pix below, but damn Blogger won't load most of the images. So I guess you'll have to go check them out at Flickr. Some images I processed using Coffee Shop actions, others I left alone. I still have LOTS to learn about using my new camera. Let me know what you think.

So Far, So Good

Yesterday I met with my oncologist to get the results from my 6 month follow-up chest, abdomen, & pelvic CT scan that I had done on Tuesday. Ordinarily I would have had a PET scan done, but my PPO turned it down cause there was no evidence of recurrence - which I find pretty fucked up, since the test is what's used to detect and determine recurrence. Besides, I would think that since I have already had a recurrence, that that in itself would justify the need for the scan. So they denied the test, and instead I had the CT scans done.
I wasn't really sure what I was in for as I've never had an abdomen CT scan done before. I've had enough chest CT scans done before to know all about the nuclear contrast. But with an abdomen scan you have to drink this very disgusting crap called barium. It's like drinking cold Milk of Magnesia. It's basically a near-flavorless, creamy, chalky liquid. It's bad enough they make you fast for these tests, but then to make you drink 12 ounces of this goo is damn near torturous. Making matters worse was the fact that a transformer near the hospital blew, causing the power to go out. Luckily the CT machine was running off a generator, cause man would I have been pissed off if I fasted and drank this crap all to have to do it another day when the power was back. But since the power went out, the hospital was all backed up. I was there for over 2 hours.
Normally I don't handle these types of test all that well. Any time I have to get an IV, I damn near freak out. My veins are in such bad shape, it makes it very difficult to find one and get it working right. Usually it takes multiple attempts, and the more they stick me the more I freak out. So usually taking these tests require a Zanax, which means I get stupid, which means it would be best if Ruben were to take me. But he was out of town this week. He's been traveling a lot for work the last few weeks. I didn't want to put the test off, cause the anxiety of waiting and worrying is just as bad as the whole IV thing. So I braved it alone this time, and I survived. Was it a better experience than past attempts? A bit, but it still wasn't very pleasant. I was fortunate enough to get a good nurse who really took her time finding a spot before attempting to stick me.
Ok, so my test results came back with no evidence of any distant or metastatic disease. The only thing that showed up were some cysts on my liver, which my doctor says is of no consequence. I asked him if he was absolutely sure, given the fact that my mother died from end-stage liver cirrhosis. He assured me that as of now the cysts are completely harmless. Besides, he'll see if there are any changes when I have my follow-up scans done in 6 months. Then he ordered some blood tests and sent me on my way.
It's a HUGE relief to verify that I am still cancer free. I'm trying to think how long exactly I've been cancer free. My recurrence was found in February 2008. I had surgery done in March to remove some of the chest wall area where the tumor was found. In April, I had had a PET scan done to determine if there was any metastatic disease present - which came back clear. My follow-up PET scan done at the end of December also came back clear. So technically speaking, I've been cancer free for just over a year now. But in terms of remission when it comes to oncology, I'm not really sure cause I didn't finish radiation until August, and I didn't start on Tamoxifen till January 2009. A year sounds so much better than just 6 months, but I'm pretty sure it comes down to the 5 years on Tamoxifen. In any case I'll just be happy to make it past 3 years without another recurrence!

Oh, I also want to share a link I found with y'all. The site is called F My Life, and some of the stories shared there are just so freaken hilarious. You have to go check it out. I promise you that you'll be LOL and ROFL. So enjoy! The link is above as well as in the sidebar.

Yum

Oh goody. After fasting for hours I get to drink this nasty, chalky
crap. Then I get an injection of some nuclear meds. This CT scan is
torture!

Chrysler is Making me CRAZY!

I am so unbelievably fed up with Chrysler, I swear I could seriously maim someone. If you recall back in May my dash literally fried. Causing my instrument cluster to go out and my wipers to permanently stay on. Well my Durango has been sitting at Bergeron Chrysler Jeep Volvo for a month now waiting to be repaired. The instrument cluster was part of a factory recall - one that had already been performed back in 2006.
Anyway, given Chrysler's financial problems of late, they are having some serious problems getting parts manufactured because they owe all their suppliers money. In my case there is only one company that makes the instrument cluster, and because of slow or non-payment on Chrysler's behalf this company refuses to manufacture the part until they get paid either some or all of what is owed to them. I had hopes that perhaps Chrysler could just pay in advance or C.O.D. for the cluster panel, but I was shot down when I called Chrysler. You would think they would want to hurry this along as they've already paid some $900 this past month for my rental. But since Chrysler is receiving rescue money from the government in addition to having filed bankruptcy, all payments must go through and be approved by the government. And no one even knows when they will start releasing payments or in what order they will be made. I have no clue when I could possibly get my Durango back, and I am beyond pissed.
When I called Chrysler on Friday to ask if they could possibly pay for the part in advance, I was told that Chrysler will only pay $20 a day for any rental that is not a Chrysler product, but if I could get switched over to a Chrysler vehicle they would pay up to $40 a day. At the time I had been in a Chevy Silverado for about 2 weeks and was furious at the thought that I might have to pay out of pocket for any overages. I had to call Enterprise and ask for a different vehicle cause I didn't want to be responsible for any charges, and I certainly didn't want to be put in some sub-compact piece of crap. Enterprise worked things out so I wouldn't have to pay any out of pocket, and they found a Jeep Commander that fit within the $40 a day. The Jeep is a bit better cause at least it's the same size as my Durango, which we'll need for our trip to Disney as I don't think I'll be getting my car back in time. In fact I wonder if I'll even be getting it back this year.
Oh, and if you're wondering what I get for my inconvenience? Not a damn thing. No oil change or tire rotation, no replacement key that I need that costs $200, not a single thing. They made it sound like I'm privileged just cause they are paying for the rental car upfront, even though the rental is part of my ESP contract. Could you imagine if I were still making car payments on it? Paying for something I can't even use, something that is just sitting at the dealers collecting dust. It makes me so freaken angry! I can't wait to buy a new car - and I'll tell you after all this crap, there is no way I'd ever buy another Chrysler product again. And you can almost certainly forget about that Chevy Tahoe or Camaro I want since GM just filed bankruptcy. It won't be long until they experience the same problems getting parts. This whole freaken economic crisis has really fucked everything up, hasn't it?

My New Camera

Here's the new Nikon D5000 camera Ruben bought me. Like my camera strap? I picked it up last week at Bennet's Camera. I can't wait to take it out to City Park and snap some pictures.

Inches-a-way

Today is my monthly follow up visit at the weight loss clinic, and
while I've only lost 2 pounds in the last 2 weeks for a total of 17
pounds in a month, I did lose several inches. I lost 2 inches total
from each of the following areas: biceps, bust, waist, hips, thighs,
and calves. Plus 4 inches from around my upper belly. I'm down about 4
pant sizes, they fit a tad snug but the next size up is much too big.
I still have a minimum of 30 more pounds that I'd like to lose, though
65 is the goal. Losing 30 will put me back at the size I was when I
moved here.
Since the beginning of March I have managed to lose 25 pounds. Now the
question is will I be able to continue to lose weight and can I take
off another 15 before Disney? Guess it's time to stop cheating and
start working out more.

Angi

"Whoever said winning isn't everything never had to fight cancer"

Http://scrapaddictnv2.blogspot.com/

Sent from my iPhone

A little of this, a little of that, a whole lotta post....

Well, here it is - the start of summer vacation. More than two whole months of no school, cause down here there is no such thing as year round school. So for those of you with kids who are out for the summer, what are your plans for summer break? We don't have much planned really, and luckily I don't work, so there's no child care issues like some families have.

Right now the plan is just to enjoy our 3 weeks with my Mother-in-Law, who safely landed late Saturday evening. After much hard work busting our asses, we managed to pretty thoroughly clean our house before she arrived. If we hadn't cleaned up, I guarantee you that she'd be spending her whole vacation here cleaning. Which pretty much defeats the purpose of a vacation, right? As it is, she's been cooking up a storm, which is making it extremely difficult to eat right.

In the last week, I've cheated quite a bit - we went to see Night at the Museum last Friday and I drank half a large soda and enjoyed a cinnamon pretzel. Then for dinner I had a hamburger at this awesome burger joint. And now she's here cooking things like rice, beans, tacos, and other delightful Mexican dishes. I'm trying hard not to over-do it, but it's not easy. I try to treat myself just a bit. I've not been able to lose any weight this past week, but I have been fortunate enough not to have gained any back. Not helping matters any is the 24 pack of Coke bottles I found at Sam's Club. I kicked my daily soda habit, only indulging in an occasional drink. But I have such a love of soda from actual glass bottles, that it was impossible for me to pass them up at Sam's. So for the time being, I'm not to having more than one a day if even that.

Did y'all watch the MTV Movie Awards? The part where Bruno (a.k.a Sasha Baron Cohen) landed bare-butt in the face of Eminem was funny as all hell. That is until I found out the whole thing was staged.

Bruno Lands On Eminem

I truly think that was the best moment of the night, though the much anticipated trailer of New Moon was right up there with it. So far New Moon looks to be done up a bit better than Twilight was, though I must say that the werewolf is a bit disappointing as it looks a bit cartoonish. What did you think of it?


I found the rest of the awards disappointing. Yeah, I liked the movie Twilight, but Dark Knight should have won the award for best movie hands down. Twilight isn't even in the same league as Dark Knight. So how that crappy little low budget flick beat out the 2nd highest grossing movie of all time is beyond me.

Monday afternoon I got the camera of my dreams. My wonderful hubby decided out of the blue that I should get the camera that I've been wanting for the last couple years. He bought me a Nikon D5000 12.3mp DSLR. It is so awesome, and I have so much to learn about using it. The package we bought came with 2 Nikon VR lenses; a 18-55mm and 55-200mm, and lots of other goodies. I haven't really had the chance to play with it too much, but I plan on maybe taking it out this weekend if the weather is nice. I want to go take some pictures at City Park and Audubon Park. I'll be sure to post pix as soon as I can.

Today we are finally getting our new windows installed, which I'm oddly excited about. Right now I'm sitting here sans air and windows while the guys pull out and replace the old windows. Luckily it's not quite as hot and humid as it was supposed to be, though according to AOL weather it's 80 something degrees right now. These new windows look so nice. I just wish this whole experience had been more pleasant. We've run into some really bad customer service, or should I say lack of customer service from Window World. It's been so bad I doubt I would recommend them to anyone else. With having 30 windows in our house, and the cost to replace those 30 windows we should have been treated a bit better!

Today my oncologists office called. My insurance denied approval for my follow-up PET scan, so instead we are going to do a CAT scan on Tuesday. I will meet with the doctor the following day to get the results. Let's hope this new breast cancer medicine has actually been working for the last 6 months and my scan comes back clear. I can't bear to go through this cancer shit again. Twice in a lifetime is twice too many, know what I mean? Though I have been neglecting my blog the last 2 months, I swear to post just as soon as I know the results.....and I promise to at least attempt to blog more often from now on. I've just been putting it off cause there hasn't been much of anything going on in my life, especially anything exciting. But I've had a decline in visits, so I need to step it up!

Kickin' Off a Summer of Fun

School's out and swimming's in. There's no better way to start the
summer. Here's Natalie showing off her new swim suit that we bought
over the weekend at Old Navy. Several of the neighborhood kids wear
these types of board suits instead of regular swim suits, so naturally
Natalie insisted on getting this the moment she saw it.

Where did May go?

I can't believe it is Memorial Day already, and just around the bend is the end of the school year! Come Saturday my mother-in-law will be here visiting from Las Vegas for 3 whole weeks.
It's going to be super hard having her here while I'm dieting, the woman cooks like no one else - and nothing she makes can be classified as "healthy", it's all Mexican food high in calories and fat. Sure I'll indulge a bit, but mostly I will be trying my damnedest to eat sensibly. It seems that my weight loss progress has slowed a bit. Which is to be expected. After all losing 13lbs in two weeks is a bit much. I guess at this point I need to focus on exercising more while I continue to eat right. For about the last week I've been using the new EA Sports Active for the Wii. I'll tell you that there is no doubt that it works. My legs burned so bad after just one use.
Here it has been nearly a week since I had an allergic reaction to eating a mango and my face is still flared up. I had to call the dermatologists office today cause my hives had gotten worse. He called me in a script for an oral steroid. I guess the shot I was given on Thursday had begun to wear off. I woke up this morning to my eyes all swollen and my face red and itchy. This whole experience has not been fun, that's for sure!
This weekend Natalie and I went shopping to get her clothes for summer. We spent the majority of the day at the mall going from store to store. It was tiring! While we were there we stopped into the salon and got her eyebrows waxed. I'm telling you a little bit of wax makes a world of difference.
Only a few more weeks and we'll be getting ready for our trip to Disney. I'm so excited. I swear it can't get here soon enough. It's been too damn long since we had a real vacation. While Ruben is out of town this week, I need to spend some time online finding the best prices on tickets to all the parks we want to go to. I still think we're nuts for going on the 4th of July, cause I'm sure the parks will be absolutely packed! I need to find out what the park hours are, and get information about them closing the park once it reaches capacity. I also need to figure out what reservations I need to make. Still so much planning to do - plus lots of cleaning before my mother-in-law arrives, and I need to find out when our new windows will be ready to be installed - not to mention all the work that needs to be done before hand like moving the furniture and blinds. Yup, with all that needs to be done vacation will be here in a blink of an eye!

Mangos Make Me Itch

Ever since I began "dieting", I've made a substantial effort to eat lots of fresh fruits and veggies daily. I bought a batch of melons and mangos at Sam's last week and went nuts. I never really knew how much I liked mangos. I've never really had them before. So I've been eating a mango just about daily. I had one yesterday morning for breakfast and shortly after I realized that I had broken out with hives along my lips, chin, and neck. I took some Benadryl last night hoping the itchy red bumps would vanish. Instead I woke up this morning with sizably larger lips, and a very irritate rash. I now know what I would look like if I were to get my lips plumped with Juvaderm. I look like Melanie Griffith. The rash is not only itchy, but it burns as well. I've been taking Claritin all day, and keeping a cool damp cloth on the areas but it is not helping. So tomorrow I'll be seeing my dermatologist. I'm not looking forward to going out into public like this, but I think I need something stronger. I did a little research about allergic reactions to mango and found out that they are in the same plant class as poison ivy, oak, sumac, and cashews. The skin of the mango contains urushiol - the same thing that causes rashes from poison ivy plants. According to the information I found, I should be able to eat mangos without incident if I wash the skin thoroughly, and peel the flesh away before eating it. It also explains why I had eaten several before I broke out. The others probably had been washed better. An allergic reaction can start immediately after contact and could possibly last up to six weeks. I'm lucky that I didn't experience anaphylactic shock! The upside to all this is that I've lost 11 pounds in 13 days, which nearly makes up for having the hives!

The week in Review

Yeah, so it's been awhile since I made an actual post. I've been busy reading like crazy. I'm half-way through book 9 of the Sookie Stackhouse series, the final book until #10 is published in October. I've been reading almost non-stop since I bought the books 2 weeks ago. Aside from reading I've also been going on nightly walks with my friend Arlene. We're both trying to lose a few pounds, so we're trying to support each other by walking 1-2 miles around our neighborhood 3 to 4 nights a week. I'm also trying real hard to eat right, which for me is not an easy task. Once I get myself on track I'll be changing the way the whole family eats--that is if I can stick with this. At this point it's only been a few days, and my will power is still weak.
We went out to dinner Friday night for Mother's Day, and while I ate pretty sensibly, I did have a hard time staying away from the rolls and skipping dessert. I've even cut soda out completely, and when I do something like that you know it's serious. I think I'm finally getting over the caffeine withdrawals, as my head isn't throbbing today--however my feet are.
Yesterday I sat by my neighbor's pool reading while Natalie swam, and my feet which rarely see the light of day got pretty sunburned cause I neglected to put sunscreen on. It was a nice way to spend Mother's Day. Ruben spent the day working around the house. He started the day by making pancakes for me, which I was served in bed--dry (no butter or syrup) to make them less fattening. Then he did some yard work, the laundry so I wouldn't have to, then textured & painted Natalie's bathroom. I had bought myself some Cricut cartridges and told him not to get me anything, cause it wasn't like I really needed anything and we're getting new windows here in a few weeks, so I was trying to be practical. But while he was in Biloxi last week for the Southern Gaming Show, he bought me lots of goodies from the Hard Rock Casino. He's been asking me if I wanted to go to Wolf Camera and get something since the store is closing and everything is on sale, but I just got a new camera for my birthday, so I'm good.
In fact the only thing I am wanting is a new car. For some reason I want one so bad I've even began contemplating going back to work. I just haven't found a job yet. Wednesday when I was running errands in town, my instrument cluster panel on my dash fried--so my Durango has been in the shop since then waiting for the new part to come in. While I was at the dealership I fell in love with one of the Challengers there, though it's not the model I would purchase. Then Friday when we went out to dinner at Boomtown Belle they had a new Camaro there that will be raffled off next month. The temptation seems to be everywhere! It was such a sweet looking ride, though still not the model I would want. If I'm going to buy a Camaro I want the SS, not the coupe. But since it's being given away, I decided to get a club card just so my name could go in the drawing. Of course since we only played that night my chances of winning will be real slim....and Boomtown is too far away for me to swing by daily to swipe my card. And seriously, if I am going to gamble all that money daily I might as well use it towards a car payment and buy the dang thing. But I really love not having a car payment, and our lifestyle totally reflects that. Ruben wants to start saving money now so when we go to get a new car we can just pay mostly cash for it again. The problem is that's easier said that done. I'm good at saving money to a certain extent, and then it begins to burn a hole in my pocket.
So, that's been the past week in a nutshell. Don't have much planned for this week except for Thursday. Thursday I am supposed to get my 6 month follow up PET scan, which has me a tad nervous. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to call and reschedule it. One of our neighbors passed away on Friday, and we're going to the service on Thursday. Last year the couple had spent Thanksgiving with us, which kept me from moping about the family holiday and being alone. Sometimes not having family here really hurts. Since then they have been like adoptive grandparents to Natalie. They spoiled that child about as rotten as we do. So we want to be there to give support. I need to go out and buy something suitable to wear to the funeral since I don't have any dress clothes that fit me. I don't think wearing jeans would be appropriate. Then Friday I am seeing my plastic surgeon to have him look at my implants. The left side is still lumpy, and now the right side has gotten a lot firmer to the point that it's hard in some areas. I have a feeling I will be heading back into a 10th surgery--or at least hoping so, cause I don't want to be stuck with these, and I can't help but to worry and wonder if they will ever be "right". I will keep you posted. Hopefully once I finish this last book, I will get back to blogging more!

Fun in the Sun

Our neighbor invited Natalie to swim today even though they were
having a family get together for Mother's Day. It was a perfect day
for swimming--extremely hot. My poor little feet got burned.

I want this car

Yesterday the cluster panel in my dash literally fried due to an
electrical problem that had been recalled. Luckily I was near a Dodge
dealer and was able to drive there despite wipers that wouldn't shut
off and not being able to read the instruments. Well sitting at the
dealership is one of my dream cars....and it could be mine for only
$25,800. Ah, today would be a good day to hit the lotto!

Spring Pictures

Finally got Natalie's school spring pictures back last week. It's one
of the rare times she gets to wear street clothes to school. I can't
believe how fast my baby is growing up - and how grown up she looks
with waxed brows and her hair all done up. Makes me feel old just
looking at it!

Food, Friends & Fun

It's official, we are going to Disney World. I found an awesome 3 bedroom, 2 bath rental house with a private pool that accepts pets just minutes outside of WDW. We'll be there to celebrate 4th of July, and I'm sure it will be not only hot as hell, but freaken packed! I don't really care much cause our last trip to Disney was the best vacation Ruben has ever had. I think we'll be doing Disney for 4 days (a park each day) and some time at Seaworld and Universal. I'm so excited I can't wait!!! Every since we got our income tax return, I just been dying to book a vacation. So now the accommodations are all set, I just need to purchase park tickets. This will be Danny's first trip to Disney, and though he's not one for rides, I still think he will have a helluva good time.
It seems like time is just flying by. Summer break is right around the corner already. Ruben's mom will be here the weekend after school lets out. I'm really looking forward to the visit, and not just cause she cleans. In the years since my mom passed, I've really grown closer to my MIL.
This past weekend it seems like all we did is eat with our friends around the corner. Friday night Ruben played poker with Rene, while Arlene, I and the kids ate Mo's Pizza. They had never had Mo's before, but I'm pretty sure it lived up to the hype. Arlene and I sat out on the porch all night and had a few drinks. I'm reluctant to build a screened in porch here, yet for some reason I truly love sitting on Arlene's. It's so peaceful with the fountain, wind chimes and fans. I'm just not sure if I'll feel the same come the dead of summer though. Saturday Ruben cooked up some carne asada and once again we ate together. Ruben wanted to make something for them since Rene is always making enchiladas and feeding us. After dinner we sat and watched part of the NFL Draft. Sunday we were back over there again for food. Rene got 3 racks of ribs and cooked them up. By time I ate them and all the fixin's I felt sick cause all I did all weekend was feast. We keep it up and we'll all get fat! But can you really turn down good food and the company of friends? I think not.
Saturday afternoon we did a bit of running around, as we had to buy the meat for dinner and some other groceries. Along the way we stopped at Barnes & Noble to pick up some books. I purchased the first 7 Sookie Stackhouse novels - I've already completed book 1, I'm starting book 2, and I just ordered books 8, 9 & 10 (8 & 9 are pre-sales) from Amazon. The Sookie Stackhouse Series, or Southern Vampire Series is what HBO's TrueBlood is based off of. I've never really watched the series, but now that I am reading the books I think I may have to just as soon as season 2 starts up again. The books are more adult than Twilight, similar in several ways - and very good. My friend Heather recommended them to me. Besides, I figure reading is good exercise for my fogged up brain.
Lately I've been contemplating returning to work, though I'm not sure how that would work. I mean would the expenses really be worth it - and what would I do? I honestly don't know if I could return to accounting as I've been out of it for too long, and I'm much too stubborn to just be a drone. I'm a leader, not a follower. I don't know if I could find a job that's not bottom rung. I doubt I would qualify for much of anything as it's been 4 1/2 years since I worked. I just keep thinking how nice it would be if we had another income. I've got a bad burning desire to buy a new car, and what I want isn't cheap. I've been yearning for a new Camaro, Tahoe, Challenger, Charger or Durango, plus I'd like a new truck for Ruben - but I love not having a car payments. We're also toying with the idea of getting new windows; though I am not thrilled at the cost of replacing 30 windows! We have so many remodeling projects we'd like to do, but this economy just stinks. My kitchen needs updating bad, and every time I see those damn Electrolux commercials I want to rush out and buy the whole lot! I mean seriously - a washer & dryer that only takes 36 minutes, and a cooktop that boils water in 90 seconds? I want it all bad. I boiled eggs yesterday to make deviled eggs for dinner, and the water never really boiled, and I had them eggs on the stove for an hour!
I'd love to find some other freelance writing opportunities, but I'm not sure where to find them at....besides, I've been struggling a bit this month trying to write a piece for MBCN. On the upside, MBCN just recently named me as an expert. Something I've been trying to achieve for over a year now. I like helping women faced with breast cancer, I have a lot of knowledge to share - I just want more money, need more money. There's so much I want to do, but I don't want debt. I guess what I want is to have my cake and eat it too, which I know is not realistic. Why can't I just hit the lotto already? Of course you got to play to win, so that could be part of the problem as to why I'm not on my way to being a millionaire. LOL.

Bridge Traffic

I truly hate being stuck on the Huey P. The bridge is so narrow it's
sickening and to make it worse they have it closed to one lane. Making
it worse is the fact that it shakes, and your trapped between a train
and the mighty Mississippi. But I'm glad they are working hard to
expand it. Just wish the work would go faster!

Roaming Armidillo

Ran out to pick up some dinner and this critter walked right in front
of me. My first instinct was to run it over but I didn't want guts on
my tires. I was afraid to get any closer for fear of rabies.
Now that I'm back from Wendy's and Natalie is out playing she just
called from the neighbors house saying she saw it over there. Must
live around here.

A New Spin on Photo Sharing

I found this over at Lora's blog today, and figured that I'd pass it along. Be sure to check it out - I posted a too cute picture of my pup sleeping on my hubby's pillow yesterday.

A fellow blogger, Jiggins, started this new project called "On the Go Photo Blog"... where anyone can upload their mobile photos to share with the masses. I think it's brilliant! More photos are being added every day - so why don't you join us? You can send your photos - whatever you find interesting, beautiful, something that speaks to you - from your mobile phone to otgphoto.onthego@blogger.com - it's really that easy! Come check it out! :)LoraLoo, Suburbia Las Vegas, Apr 2009

Flashbacks and Other Stuff

This past week Ruben and I learned that we were tagged in some photos someone posted on Facebook. For those of you that don't know the story of how Ruben and I came to be, we met through a group of friends; a local Vegas chat room on AOL that would get together twice a week for drinks and fun. We both had many friends within this group, but as time passed we lost touch with most of them. Some people from the group you could go your whole life without ever speaking to again, and others remain very good friends even a decade later. We always managed to have a good time, believe me the proof is in the pictures. An old friend from the group posted a large batch of photos from back in the day that got quite a few of us reconnecting and reminiscing. Ah, the good ol' days. It's hard to believe it's been about 12 years since we met. It was good to see where some of our old friends ended up. Surprisingly, most of them moved away from Vegas like we did. While I was online, I decided to check out some other photos from people I know. I came across a batch from my step-father's recent birthday. We no longer talk, and from the looks of it I don't see that changing anytime soon either. One of the pictures he had posted was of him and his new girlfriend, to which he labeled "the love of my life." Just seeing it made me sick. My mom passed away not even 3 years ago. They were approaching their 17th wedding anniversary when she died. So if this new woman is the love of his life, then what the fuck was my mom? Needless to say the photo was very upsetting to me. It brings back too many painful memories, and it makes me wonder if she is at peace. My friends around the corner are great believers in ghosts and spirits. We've had talks before about it all and she has asked me if I thought my mom was happy with things. I've never sensed otherwise, but I think if she was pissed off, I wouldn't be the one she'd be haunting. Then again, as the note on this picture suggests, it would seem that she knew she wouldn't be coming back and was okay with the thought of him dating again. I just don't think she'd like the way he went on to treat her kids.

It's been a busy weekend here. Yesterday morning we drove out to Slidell to eat at Cracker Barrel. It ended up being a horrible experience. From now on I think we'll stick to dining at the Gonzales location. The drive there was a sad reminder of Hurricane Katrina. There is still so much property damage along the Lakeside area. It's heart breaking. Our old Six Flags just sits there and rots. There was some talk with Disney to buy the lot, but so far no sale. It would be nice if the park could re-open, but that area of town is pretty much a ghost town. Not much has changed in the last 3 1/2 years. Needless to say we didn't do much following breakfast. There weren't a whole lot of places to stop at on the way back.

Last night we went out to eat with our friend around the corner. Went to the Chinese buffet up the street. They serve all kinds of seafood on the weekends. It was our first time there and I was impresses. It was really good. So good I can't wait to go back - but it will have to wait. For now we are planning on grilling up some carne asada next weekend, which we don't get to do nearly as often as we'd like.

Ruben just left for Shreveport. He'll be gone most of the week, which sucks. He'll be working a graveyard shift installing games cause all his techs are in a training class or something this week. It's been about 8 years since he played tech. I don't have much going on this next week except for a follow-up appointment with my plastic surgeon. I'm hoping to get some answers as to when the swelling will go down and when I'll smooth out. The left side has a few bumpy areas, and I'm having some tingling and pain across my chest and under my arms. I'm curious when I can go bra shopping. Since they are smaller than what I wanted, I need to buy a good push up bra to make the best of them. I just think I'm too swollen to be wearing one just yet. Overall I think I am becoming more satisfied with the implants. I feel like I have nothing, but it's because they are virtually weightless - and Ruben and I agree that they feel very natural. I'm surprised at how soft they feel. I still wish they were bigger, but I don't think I'd be willing to go through more surgery for that. My only other option would be a flap procedure and after this last surgery I just think I'm done. Nine breast surgeries are enough!

I'm glad Natalie goes back to school tomorrow. A week off school is too much to handle right after surgery! Thank goodness Danny is here to help! Now that he's planning on staying we have to work on teaching him to drive, getting him licensed (though I don't really know what vehicle he'll drive) and getting him a job so he can get into school and get his certification for computers or whatever it is he wants to do. I'm wondering if he lives here while he goes to school, if I can claim him on my taxes next year?

Checkin' In

Here it is almost a week post-op. The pain has lessened considerably over the last few days. I have weird pain in my right arm depending on how I move it - it hurts to try to raise my arm or straighten it. I am uncomfortable every single second cause of these damn drain tubes. I cannot wait for them to be removed. They've finally slowed down enough that maybe they can be pulled tomorrow. I'm looking forward to being able to lay on my side again. With the pain these tubes cause it's really difficult to focus on much else, and to be honest none of my incisions really hurt much. The drains have stitches right there to hold the tubing in place, so with each move my skin is tugging at those stitches and it hurts like hell. The incisions on my chest concern me a bit. They are a little lumpy - puckered. Obviously my chest is swollen post-op, and until my incisions heal none of it will look right. I'm worried that I set my hopes too high. I'm worried I set myself up for disappointment. Things will never be the same, and I know and accept that (I think) - I just worry that I've went through all this pain for nothing. I currently have the biggest implants approved, yet they are only a fraction of the size they need to be. I feel flat chested, like I don't have anything. I'm worried that I'll never be happy with my post-op results. I think in my head I just pictured that reconstruction surgery would make it almost like cancer never happened or something and that's just not a realistic approach. All I can do is wait it out, time will tell ultimately what I look like post reconstruction - and I just need to be patient and remind myself that results do vary greatly, that things will never be the same, and the most important thing of all is that I am alive. It's hard when you've thought about this day for the last 4 years. I worry that just as I am getting out of a depressive funk, the results will set me back. I don't want to be depressed again. So for now I just breathe, and hope for the best. I know that the sooner I get these tubes pulled the sooner I will be feeling better. I see my surgeon on Wednesday, maybe then I can get an idea of how long till I am healed. Hope for the best....

I hate needles!

It's already been a morning of anxiety hell. The gown is
uncomfortable, the room so warm I feel ill then it was time for the
IV. Obviously I panicked. Turns put it was barely a prick. They used a
small gauge IV since it went in my hand. Now I'm just waiting to go
back which should be soon. Wish me luck.

Pictures from the Picnic

Here are some of my favorite pictures from yesterday's picnic at City Park in Baton Rouge. The park there was beautiful, the weather gorgeous, and the food was awesome!

Up until yesterday I had never really cared much for Crawfish, but the ones we had were huge and very tasty. I came home exhausted and slightly red from enjoying too much sunshine. The weather started out a bit breezy - it was 78 and perfect. Not too hot and not too humid. All in all a perfect day!

Now I'm trying desperately to fold laundry and somewhat organize this chaos before I shower and turn in early. I have to be at the hospital at 5:30. Can't wait! Enjoy the pix, will check in when I'm feeling lucid.