January 23, 2006 - What's with this funk?

I have been in this funk for quite some time now. I had seriously hoped for a new year with new beginnings. But here it is 3 days away from my birthday, and I'm still down right in a funky mood! Maybe it's the thought of turning 32, or maybe it's that a year ago on that day I found a lump in my breast and I'm scared of a repeat. I don't really know what my problem is. But my mood has turned somewhat nasty, and I blame no one but myself. For some reason unknown to me, I am not happy anymore and I don't get it because at one point I was a happy person - or at least I thought I somewhat was. Maybe it's because my washer crapped out on me, and it cost me over a grand to buy a new washer and dryer set! Or maybe it's just because I felt almost certain that this was going to be a better year for me and so far it has yet to be one. That alone is cerain. For reasons unknown t0 me, I feel more depressed than ever before. Hopefully it's just a reminder of years past. But yet the question remains, how do I get out of this funk At first, I thought a little retail therapy would do the trick, but it only cheered me up for the moment. Then I thought maybe I beeded a little color in my life, and added some funky burgandy to my hair, and while Ruben and I love the new look, it still didn't quite do the trick. I'm running out of ideas, and I have absolutely NO ONE here to talk to about any of this! My hubby thinks that it is some of the meds I am on, but I disagree and think that I am not on the right combo of meds. I am beginning to think maybe I'm somewhat bi-polar, although I can't seem to remember my last really good day - and to be honest, I think I have felt this way before most of the meds even started. So HOW (!) do I get out of this funk? I need help turning that frown up-side down!