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Happy Day

Yesterday I spent my day at the hospital doing fun pre-op stuff. no matter how many nurses you tell that you have bad veins, one will always "think" she can hit it without hurting you. Why don't they ever listen? I left the lab with a nice busted vein from the needle being poked around my hand as she fished for a vein. Seriously, do they like hurting people like me? Let's just hope that anesthesia listens, otherwise come the 9th I'll be screaming like a crazy lady telling them to get the effing needle away from me! I am NOT a pin-cushion!

Today I digi-scrapped a basic layout for this digi-freebies challenge on Scrapbook.Com. Still learning my way around wishing I could do better. Guess it just takes more time and practice. Also I received my very first paycheck for blogging. YAY! Doesn't matter much cause it's already spent. LOL. Trying to figure out what to treat myself to for Mother's Day, but it's hard when you just buy stuff whenever you want it. Just like I told Ruben that once this is said and done and I kick cancer's ass again, I want something special - I have my mind on a tattoo, maybe a nose piercing, who knows. He isn't fond of either idea. He tells me it's time to grow up - but I can't help it that I still have some wild child left in me. You best believe that when my hair grows back after chemo I'll be putting some pink in it or something. It's been so long since I've done anything even remotely wild and I can just feel it eating away at me. I removed my last piercing, my tongue ring, when I was first diagnosed back in 2005. 2004 was when I had purple highlights in my hair as I left my job to become a stay at home mom. Well I'm not your average suburban mom or manager's wife. You can't keep an animal caged, especially when I have so much rage inside of me. That's why I want to do something when this is all over. Having cancer come back just reminded me how much fight I still have left. The disease ignited a flame and fuels so much rage within myself. I don't want to be here again. I hope this is the last time I ever have to deal with this.

On another note, tonight we saw Iron Man. Man was the theater packed! But it was so freaking awesome! I had just seen something on E! and jumped in the shower and said let's go! Didn't know it had just opened today. We don't get out to the movies all that often - most we'd rather just see at home, but this was one definitely worth seeing on the big screen! i'm glad we saw it today cause it's gonna be a busy weekend around here! Ruben's little brother flies in on Monday to stay for the summer and help out while I have surgery and go through radiation. It's a relief knowing that someone will be here to help with Natalie. Then of course Friday is the big day. I'm still very nervous about it, but I think that it is because there has been too much time between the office visit and the surgery date. Too much time for my brain to sit here and process and over analyze it all. For like the first time I can ever really recall I'm scared. Man I hope that's not a bad sign! I know there's a lot of people out there thinking about me, hoping for the best. I sure hope all that karma does it's job. Don't fail me now......

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