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Finally, I think things are set to go....

After a few very stressful days, and multiple doctors appointments, I have finally found a new General Surgeon to perform my Mastectomy. ...and this doctor is just no GS, he's a Surgical Oncologist, so he's definately qualified. I feel very good with the decision of putting my breast in his hands. He discussed things with me no other GS had. I have a feeling if I had went with one of the others they would have performed a hack job simular to the one the GS did up in Elko when I had my left breast removed. He told me what my risks would be if we did a nipple sparing operation, and a skin sparing operation. After hearing my odds, I decided I don't need to keep my nipple. I mean why? They have to reconstruct one, why not two? But we are doing a skin sparing even though it still leaves me with some risks, otherwise I'd have no skin and would have to have a tissue expander placed on the R side to stretch out that skin as well. Uh, no thanks. The pain of one side being forced to stretch by way of weekly saline injections is enough for me. It just means I will have to continue self check-ups on a regular basis, oh well. At least it eliminates the very lumpy breast tissue I currently have, and the panic I feel each time I feel the smallest lump that is nothing. Besides, if I am to have my own set of floatation devices, I'd rather have two than one. As long as my boobs aren't under my chin, or a uni-boob, I have no problem what-so-ever with looking like I have two halves of a melon on my chest. Hey it might even mean I will get to go braless since they basically support themselves. I mean hell, I don't think that implants are capable of sagging - at least not the first few years. So for those reasons alone, I am pumping them to the max! I miss my cleavage. I miss the breasts I once had prior to losing so much weight (which I am slowly gaining back due to some of my damn medications!)

I think for once rather than fearing this surgery, and being all stressed and anxious over it and the outcome, I am actually looking forward to the end result. Of course that will be many months from now, but damn it, I am going to have new boobs by Christmas (I hope) and I'm excited about that! Just less than 10 more days to go...keep your fingers crossed for me!

I think that I am finally and slowly starting to lift out of this funk, which would be great. I am ready for a manic period. Ruben's birthday is Sunday and I don't want to be a total bitch. I think that even though it is so deadly hot outside, that I need to get more sunshine. I think it really helps my moods a lot. Before this funk set in, I used to go outside at least weekly and cut the grass, or trim the hedges. I'd do whatever I could to help with the yardwork, well at least as much as my physical limitations would allow me. With all my back and leg pain it's hard to do any of that stuff. But since it has gotten so much more hot and humid, I haven't helped with any of that. Of course I am still realing from the side effects of my new meds that I've been on for about 6 weeks. They are kicking my ass and it is difficult at best to get up before noon. I am in desperate need of regulating my can't do yardwork in the middle of the day here, not unless you want a stroke! But I can't let Ruben work so hard this weekend doing yardwork when his birthday is Sunday. So now I guess I know what I will be doing tomorrow instead of being inside and scrapping, damn! Of course I still need to go get him a cake and whatever I need to make him a nice dinner. Man, there's just not enough hours in the day!

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