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1.31.2007

And so it begins.....

So yesterday I met with my new Plastic Surgeon. Great guy. Somehow I managed to feel pretty comfortable with him, while lying there on the table, robe open, my 1 breast flopped to the side, and my fat roll(s) out in the open with no where to hide. First he wants me to go see this other breast surgeon and probably have a mammogram done. Together they plan on writing a letter to my insurance to get approval to remove my current breast and replace it with an implant. His plan is for them to do the mastectomy/reconstruction together. Then he will go on by himself and insert a tissue expander underneath the muscle on the right side. After feeling the area, he's pretty sure that my previous doctor had to cut the muscle there, and says he may have to bring a piece of muscle around from my back. It will take about 8 to 12 weeks of weekly injections for the expander to stretch my skin and increase by at least 50%. At which time he will pull that expander out and replace it with an implant. Since all of this may coincide with my trip to Disney, he said we can put off the final surgery till after, but at least I will be going while my fake boob stays here. No more worrying about it floating off and scaring the kiddies! He doesn't think getting approval for the mastectomy will be a problem given my history and my currently lumpy breast tissue. He told me the only two things that may pose a problem will be if my muscle was cut (in which he said the fix would be to take a piece of back muscle) and the nipple on my other breast dying from lack of blood, which he said would have to be removed if that occurs. both are fine with me. I just want this done and over with, so I can close this chapter of my life. I explained to him that I am not interested in having Pam Anderson implants. I do not want my breast to be under my chin, nor do I want a uni-boob. However, I do have the concern that at one time I used to be a D cup, then after losing 90 lbs. I went down to a C cup - and while I have re-gained a little bit of weight these past 6 months, my goal is to lose another 50 - 60 lbs. I don't want to be stick thin, but I would like my body back, and it is very important to me that while my weight may fluctuate, that I maintain proportionate sizing. I want to remain a very full C cup. Ruben asked why the hell I chose that, why not push for a D, so I said that maybe I would talk to the doctor about it again. Maybe be a very full C/small D cup. I don't want to end up top heavy, but I used to have a nice rack and I'll be damned if I don't get it back. Then again, I have enough back problems as it is! So I go see this other doctor on the 8th, and once they obtain approval, we will proceed with at least the initial surgery. He even told me since I have such horrible veins, and I will be looking at multiple surgeries, he plans on suggesting that I get a usable port put back in. I agreed with him, just cause I hate being stuck 5 times trying to start an IV, but then again as I feel the painful scar over my left breast, I am reminded of my last port and how much it hurt and still hurts to this day. I guess since I only had it in for about 4 months, the scar tissue never healed before they re-cut it and removed it. So now I have excess scar tissue that will never heal, and a painful memory of having it removed in a doctors office which I WILL NEVER DO AGAIN! Matter of fact, somewhere around here, I still have the port they cut out of me. It was a big sucker, about the size of a 50 cent piece. I don't look forward to having another one put in as that will be one more procedure I will have to have done, but if it saves me an arm full of bruises on several other occasions, then I am all for it.
So not only is the ball now set in motion, but I have also said out loud to a doctor my wishes for removing my other breast, and unless the insurance company denies the procedure, there is no turning back now and changing my mind! Right now so I don't seesaw on the idea, I keep reminding myself that I have always said that if I were to ever get implants that I would rather get 2 than 1, that I don't want 1 hard Carmen Electra boob and one normal soft breast. So keep your fingers crossed that this all goes smoothly this time!

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