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7 years! Where did the time go?

On this day 7 long, long, years ago, Ruben and I married before a small gathering of family and friends at a little chapel known as The Special Memory Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas. Now obviously since we have a 7 year old daughter we have been together far longer than just the 7 married years, but now thinking about that day, it seems like 7 years has been an eternity! Also, thinking of 7 years reminds me of the term 7 year itch. I hope that no such thing exist, as marriage itself isn't easy. I always say that even the happiest of marriages is a work in progress, but throw in the potential for relationship disaster based on infidelity, and work in progress would take on a whole new meaning. I myself have no desire what-so-ever to ever be with anyone other than my husband, but given the hardship of the last few years, I have repeatedly told him that I wouldn't care if he had an affair as long as I never found out about it. I know that my condition has made not only our marriage more difficult, but living with me even more extremely difficult. How can you get everything you need from someone who is constantly a hormone deprived bitch that only has one breast? I would understand his need to seek solace with someone else. I just would never want to know about it. Luckily, I have a man who would never do that to me, who is in it for the long haul, through thick and thin - and for that I am eternally grateful. Not only did I marry my best friend, but I married a wonderful man, who loves me more than anything, and for that, I could not ask for anything more. Despite the day, we have no plans really for celebrating. Last night we had some PF Changs for dinner, and I also picked up some small gifts after I met with my new pain doctor. Basically our big presents aren't here yet, so we both have Guess men and women's colognes for now. Our big presents consist of a new HP laptop for me, although there's really nothing wrong with the one I've got - it's just that the internal wireless card sucks! I also went ahead and broke down and let Ruben get his new TV. It's a 57" wide screen Mitsubishi 1080p HDTV and stand. That TV will now go into the family room, and our other 48" wide screen will go into his game room. Personally, I wouldn't mind a bigger TV than the 32" we have in the bedroom, but trying to get that nearly 400 lb. TV up the stairs was murder! It's an older Sony tube TV, so that's why it weighs a freaken' ton! Anyway though, today for our anniversary, I get the great pleasure of being felt up by another man as I have an appointment today to meet with my plastic surgeon. I'm scared. I hate the thought, the anxiety, of going through breast reconstruction again. Yesterday I met with my new pain management doctor. He seemed like a pretty nice guy. He decided he doesn't want to change any of my meds now. He'd like for me to start exercising my arm once again, cut back on caffeine, and see if the two help any with my insomnia, stress, or anxiety. He doesn't really care for the anxiety medication I take, but life without it or something for anxiety will be a living hell. You know sometimes I think that even if cancer doesn't kill me, it still will be the death of me per say. I think and worry so much about it coming back, that I think my anxiety is eating away at me and making me would certain explain why I've been having nausea and why I barely made it to the bathroom yesterday before blowing chunks all over the tile, sink, and toilet.....I'm just glad I held it long enough to avoid the carpet!
Hope the rest of you are feeling better and have a great day!

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