Cancer is NOT a DEATH sentence!: whatsa been going on around here

Sorry I've been neglecting my blog lately. Did you miss me? It started out as necessity, as I had to send my laptop into HP for some repairs. I had other computers I coulda used, but the desktop screen in my studio generates so much freaken heat - and that's not really something you want to do when the weather's warmed up and the air is on. So basically I took a bit of a break, and amazingly enough I found that I could live without it. Does that mean that I'm quitting my blog? Hellfreaken no! I just took the time out to enjoy life, and to be honest every since I was struck with cancer in 2005, I think I had forgotten how to live and have fun.

For the past 4 years I've basically holed myself upstairs away from everyone and everything. I didn't have much family time except for maybe once a week and it was my own fault. Dealing with depression is hard. It's even harder when you eat your feelings, cause the fatter you get the more depressed you get. It's all a vicious cycle, and I'm ready to break free of it. I'm just not sure how to do it yet. Which is why I've already decided on Lap Band surgery. That way I can just start new. I'll be forced to develop new eating habits - and quite honestly working out alone just doesn't cut it. I've tried to eat good, I gave up soda, I walked and none of that shit worked. I have too many things working against it all. They don't perform gastric bypass really anymore, so my only other option is a gastric sleeve - but it's a relatively new procedure and the Lap Band just seems so less complicated. Plus I figure if I'm going to shell out my $750 out of pocket expense to get my one surgery done, I might as well get all the procedures I can that I need done this year. I just have to find out if the insurance will cover it, but I'm doubting they will deny it since I have had cancer twice, among other things.

Anyway, these last few weeks I have spent more time with my family - we've watched movies (Bolt, Twilight, Role Models, Zack & Miri, Step Brothers and a few others), we've played video games (Guitar Hero WT, Street Fighter 4, Resident Evil 5, Bolt), we started and finished our landscaping for now (we did our part stimulating the economy with our 2 trips to Home Depot), we attempted a nice Saturday at the zoo (but little did we know it was Earth Fest and the 27,000 people in attendance turned us away after a 2 hour drive to try to get there....traffic and parking were a complete mess.) I've enjoyed a bit of time to myself, meaning my schedule was pretty open compared to my 3 or 4 appointments a week. I've developed another new addiction in the form of fragrance lamps. I've bought 3 within a week, and have already been through 2 bottles of oil. I was skeptical at first, but a neighbor let me use her lamp and I found it's so much better than a regular candle. My favorite scent is Creme Brulee for Orleans Candles. I'm still rocking the glasses, but I'm hoping that will all change tomorrow. I've been sporting them for a month now! My head hurts every night....not to mention my neck, but I'm still not sure why I've had this neck problem. I still think it's cause my expanders are crushing everything and pinched a nerve. Speaking of my expanders, my right one hurts like hell! Ruben and I were throwing the football around Saturday and I missed the ball and it hit me in the chest. I know, it was completely stupid of me to do - and I am paying for it now, believe you me! It hurt so bad the first night I thought maybe I busted the expander or was developing a hematoma....but I never did bruise, so I guess all is okay. I see my plastic surgeon this week for my pre-op. Only two more weeks, yay! I'm hoping that my Vitamin D count is back up enough so it won't interfere with my surgery, as I've really been making an effort to get some time in the sun as of late - and so far it has not really affected my rosacea, though I still have some healing red marks. Yup, life has been pretty good these last few weeks, I'd even go as far as to say great except for the damn pain I've had. Oh and I've still got the insomnia. For some reason unknown to me, I can only fall sleep listening to my iPod now.....and going to bed with Skullcandy earbuds in is not exactly comfortable. I'm hoping that it's just the pain of everything and the stress of waiting for surgery that is giving me sleeping trouble.

Oh yeah, I was one of those crazy Twi-Moms that was standing in a line, winding around the floor of Wal-mart of 100 or more at midnight on Friday. I think just about all the tweens in my lil suburb town were there waiting for 12:01. The two girls in front of me were squealing so much I had to put my earbuds in and listen to music cause I just could take it anymore! I made Ruben and everyone watch it Saturday night, and as I expected Ruben not only disliked it, but he talked crap all through out it. Every time Edward would come in view he called him George and cracked jokes. Yea, I will admit the movie is a bit cheesy. I think the books are far better. Ruben just thought it was a real cheesy chick flick and totally failed to see the love story underneath it all. He just doesn't get that all girls want an Edward - not a vampire, but a man that is hopelessly and endlessly in love with them. I guess I'm a bit of a romantic at heart. There was no doubt that Natalie loved the movie and is officially Team Edward. Can't say that I blame her, though Jacob is cute too - but those boys are much too young for me, even though they are legal. But who doesn't like a lil eye candy from time to time?

We also got Natalie's hair cut this weekend, so here's a shot of her hamming it up, followed by some pix of the yard.