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10.17.2008

Thoughts on this mornings visit....

I just saw my oncologist this morning, hoping to hear my blood tests were ok and that I could skip chemo. Instead he pointed out some differences that suggest my recurrence was actually a secondary occurrence. The only real differences I saw were in my DNA Pliody and S Phase results - oh and my PR status was 0% instead of the original 5-10% I had back in 2005. I don't know what any of Bloom scores or what have ya, but I did note that somewhere in my original diagnosis back in '05 that they detected both invasive ductal carcinoma and in situ, though I was only told about the invasive. Is it possible to have both? Or is it just that you have one that grows to invasive? I don't know why I didn't think about these things earlier - but he also decided that he wants to see if he can get ALL my samples sent out for an Oncotype DX test. I guess it's good that I have a doctor willing to go back and look for all the answers, but I can't even imagine that they still have my samples from February let alone 3+ years ago! And let's hope my insurance covers the test cause it runs $3,000 a pop! I don't understand what an Oncotype test will tell him cause bottom line is that after 3 years I have cancer again despite a mastectomy and chemo. Isn't that test used to predict your need for chemo and if the cancer is likely to return? Also he pointed out that my pathology has two small but different words to describe my cancer - one was moderately well and the other poor though I don't recall reading that anywhere. That's another reason why he thinks this is a secondary. Then he also decided to do a BRCA I and II gene test and now my world is in panic. I was always told that since no one in may family ever had cancer I likely didn't carry the gene and that was that. But now it's possible I may have the gene and I worry about if I do have it, as that would affect my daughter. She's only 8 and has been affected by cancer enough. I mean having her was an accident, so knowing then wouldn't have mattered. But when I think about if I have it and passed it on to her and how that might affect her decision to have kids and generally her health overall, I'm just terrified of the aspect of it all. I always wanted to know why I had cancer, but the flip side is I'm not sure if either of us should know if she's a gene carrier. I was hoping for good news today, but as it stands I will have to wait another 2 weeks then maybe go from there depending on if they have the samples and can do the test. He changed his mind and said he'd recommend chemo now and I told him that if I have to do it then I will, I can't dispute science. I just don't understand why the results would even matter considering that bottom line I was diagnosed with cancer again 3 years after originally having it.

2 comments:

Three Bright Lights Designs said...

Aw, Geez Angi, I know that's not the answer you wanted to hear. I know you were so hoping to avoid another round of chemo! I'm not clear if the pathology he's referring to with moderately well and poor is your recent pathology, or the older stuff?

As far as the gene test, you don't have to tell your daughter the results right away if it's positive do you? I'm thinking it's probably way more than she needs to know or could handle right now... but somewhere along the line when she's an adult, if she knows she has it, maybe she'll be more careful on BSEs and catch something early early early so she doesn't have to go through all this. I'm thinking that having the gene doesn't necessarly mean 100 percent that you'll get cancer... just that you need to be more watchful than others. Am I wrong on that?

I actually checked out your blog today because I saw a link to an awesome BC survivor digi kit... didn't know if you'd seen it or not. http://www.scrapprofessor.com/store/product.php?productid=1672 But maybe this isn't the best day to pass that info on. Hopefully not insensitive on my part.

I'm thinking of you. Hope your insurance comes through on the tests and that you get set-your-mind-at-ease results from all the tests your doc is running! Let me know if there's anything I can do!

-- Florrie

Heather said...

Angi,

I'm so sorry that the news from your appointment wasn't what you wanted. Please know I'm still praying for you! I hope that the genetic test comes out that you aren't a carrier. I know you and your daughter have both been through enough.

Huge Hugs, and Lots of Prayers!