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Well it's final

Starting August 7th, Ruben officially starts his new job as the Manager for Louisiana territories. Although we still haven't gotten the written offer, we know it has been approved, and all the details. The only reason he did not receive the written offer this week is because we are in Las Vegas to see my mom. They did not want to bother him with work issues during this time, but honestly it wouldn't have mattered, we've been waiting impatiently for this call.

We've been spending every other day or so with my mom. Her insurance has FINALLY approved her to go to UCLA to get an evaluation done, it seems this news has really brought up my dad's hopes - BUT unfortunately the airline said that she cannot fly in her current condition. I guess she is severely malnourished. Just lightly touching her shoulder to comfort her, I felt nothing but bone - even though she appears of normal size. Basically, she's nothing more than bones, and built up fluid from her liver failing. Seeing her this way had been extremely hard for all of us. Even more so for my daughter, who wonders now if this means daddy is going to die. I'm not sure if she should be taken to anymore visits as she gets worse and worse. I tried making my peace with her, but am unsure as to what to say to her.....I hate just coming out and saying or even acknowledging the fact that she is dying. Ruben had a talk with her, and tried to make his peace. She told him that she doesn't expect to live more than 10 days, a month tops, because she's been hallucinating, she has no strength, and can barely eat or hold down any food - and by barely eat, I mean a pickle slice and an olive fill her up. I really did not foresee this advancing so fast, but she has already made her peace with God, and whatever is meant to be is meant to be. I honestly do not know how my dad can handle this day in and day out. I am trying the hardest I can to remain strong, but nothing EVER prepares you for losing a parent. My only thoughts and prayers for her are that she goes silently, effortlessly, unknowingly, and painlessly - all during her sleep. I guess you really cannot ask for anything more than that.

May peace be with you all !

1 comment:

LoraLoo said...

Two extreme ends of the emotional scale here! While I am so happy for you all about this promotion and move, I am so sorry to hear your Mom isn't doing well.