October 3, 2005 - Packing is a bitch!

Tomorrow we leave for Vegas, and I gotta tell you I'm still quite stressed over the whole thing. It seems everywhere I look there's something needing to be done. I still have 6 pages in my album to finish, so no way that's going to happen and I'm mad as all hell about that. I've got dishes to do, laundry to fold, and I have to pack clothes yet for my daughter, plus of course all those last minute items like toothbrushes, medicines, etc. I just know I'm going to forget something like food for the dog or something. I tried to spend some time relaxing this weekend, but it's hard to when your stomach is all tied up in knots and you've still got a bit of a head cold. Thankfully, I think the cold part is gone, or so I hope. Otherwise, I will be one pissed off bitch if they cancel this surgery on me due to it. I got my paperwork in the mail last week and it looks like they moved up my surgery time, but they didn't include much for instructions.....like can I wear a bra after? After my mastectomy I couldn't wear one for 6 weeks, because the elastic cuts off blood supply. I was also hoping for some info regarding the saline injections. I feel like the rest of the year is in limbo because I don't know when I will have to fly to Vegas for them. My husband laid in bed last night and asked me if I minded inviting his family up for Thanksgiving. I told him it didn't matter to me, the only thing that is of importance is that I cannot stress. He doesn't understand the whole little stress thing really, but then again he's not slightly neurotic like me. I have this need to have order in my life. I cannot live in chaos, even though I find myself living in it everyday. I just don't know how to deal with it, it causes anxiety and stress. It's a disorder I have, I know this. So I told him let's do one thing at a time, let's just get past the surgery first and see what our next step is before we go planning the future. So we'll see how Thursday goes, and what my schedule is for my injections. For now I will just take a deep breathe and try to go with the flow as hard as that may be......but on the flipside, I saw a Victoria Secret's commercial last night and for thr first time this year I actually said, man I miss having boobs like that! It sure will be nice when this is all over and I am whole again!
And if I get a chance while I am gone, I will post about my daughter's little kindergarten romance going on at school.....that is if I am up to it between doctors appointments and parents and all.