October 31, 2005 - Happy Halloween

Woke up this morning to get my lil' princess all ready for her big day. Today the kindergarten class is putting on a Halloween parade for the other classes and having a party to celebrate the day. Natalie went to school as Cinderella, and was completely decked out with a crown, gloves, royal septor, and even a touch of make-up and glitter. She looked so adorable, and I think her costume by far surpassed that of some of the other girls. As for the boys, we had Batman, Dracula, Spiderman, & the Thing just to name a few. It's too cute to see little boys running around with fake muscle suits on, they look like they've been pumped up with air!
Later tonight we are going Trick-or-Treating with her friend from school - Ruben, and his little sister. We're going to meet up with his family later after school and go to the convention center where it will be nice and warm and safe.
Hope that everyone has a nice, safe Halloween. And I hope to get some better pictures tonight, but in the meantime, here's my little princess.......

October 26th, 2005 - Why do doctors cause undue stress and anxiety if it can be avoided?

Well I flew back from Vegas and my first saline injection late Monday afternoon. Spending the weekend away from my Hubby and our girls was tough. I spent most of Sunday sick, and I'm not sure why. I think I was really anxious and nervous about getting my first injection. I slept crappy all night, if even at all and got up early Monday morning to head over to the plastic surgeon's office. When it finally was my turn to be seen, I became extremely nervous as I saw my doctor walk into the exam room with 2 HUGE tubes of saline. It had to have been 120 cc's of saline easy, maybe even 160 cc's. I started to worry about how much this was going to hurt and the prospect of flying back home to Elko today, and my stomach really began doing flips! I started off the exam by saying how I had felt fine the week after having surgery, then all the sudden I began to have a lot of intense pain. I told him how Karen and I concluded that I must be over-doing it at home and that I should really try to take it easy. Then I explained to him how the next day I noticed my right breast was all yellow and somewhat hard, and how it changed colors to black and purple like most bruises do. He looked at the area, which at that time was almost all black, and started feeling around. This is where he really began to panic me. He explained to me that the bruising I had was caused by busted blood vessels, and is called a hematoma. He asked if I had been taking any blood thinners, to which I replied no. He explained to me that I was lucky that the breast tissue was beginning to soften up, and that's when he dropped a bomb on me. He explained that if the tissue had remained hard, it was quite possible that this hematoma would be causing my skin tissue to die and he would have to rush me over to UMC right now to remove it. Suddenly I didn't feel well. I hadn't eaten all day Sunday and had thrown up a couple times, and now this! I wasn't sure if I was going to throw up again or just pass out. It took all I had to walk over to the sink and wet some towels to put on my face. I was a nervous wreck and scared to death. I was very lucky to have the tissue softening up, it's the only thing that saved me on this day. He said that because of this he cannot inject the saline today. So basically I wasted $225 to fly to Vegas to get the shit scared out of me, and that's it. I have to wait 3 weeks now for my first injection. He estimated the bruising to be gone by then, and already I can see it lightening up in color, however both Ruben and I are afraid to touch the area to see how hard or soft it is. It is very difficult just for either of us to look at it! Ruben has swore to make sure that I take it easy from now on - no more dishes, laundry, or carrying anything heavy until this is all over. He wants to make sure that I don't over-do it again. I couldn't ask for a better husband!

October 15, 2005 - Why is it that......

Gaining weight doesn't hurt (or at least in most cases), but the losing weight part does because of the working out. Well in my case, the gaining also hurts, hurts bad! Last week I went back to Vegas to have the 1st part of my breast reconstruction surgery done. Initially, I did not plan on staying in the hospital after having the expander placed, but once I woke up in the recovery room, forget it! I was in SO much pain afterwards that there was no way in hell I wanted to go home, I needed something serious for pain! I spent most of the afternoon in tears, cause I was in so much pain. Luckily, I saw Dr. Moon (the pain management doc) the day before and explained my situation to him and how the plastic surgeon WOULD NOT give me anything for pain. So the hospital had to make several calls to him before they finally got the pain med combination just right. Unfortunately my stay was at UMC, which is a County Hospital. It definitely was not my pick for the procedure, but my surgeon is a Professor there and I've been told by many that I have THE BEST plastic surgeon in the state of NV. So far I think I have to agree with everything that I have heard about him. It took me 2 months to get in just to see him. When I booked my appointment, the receptionist told me that he was all booked for surgeries until next year. But once we actually saw him and talked to him about my case - how I would have to travel back and forth for the injections, and surgeries - he promised not only to get me in this year, but to have it completed this year. Normally a routine expansion can take around 3 months or more just to stretch the skin to a full size C cup, but he said he'd do it in half the time by doubling up on the amount of my injections. He told me that he would start me off by filling my expander with some saline at the time of surgery - 60 cc's to be exact, and then I would need to fly down to Vegas every 2 weeks for my saline injections to help speed things along and hopefully get me to the 2nd surgery. Now I have no idea how much he will be injecting in me at those times, how long any of this will really take, or how badly it will hurt - All I know is how badly 60 cc's of saline hurt. Of course you say the surgery itself obviously didn't help much, and you're most likely right. All I know is that the first few days were fine. I was doing pretty well, just a little sore, but otherwise feeling well. Then all the sudden, about an hour before getting ready for school on Thursday, it struck me.....this sudden onset of pain in my upper chest and side. My chest and side were HARD, and hurt like nothing you could ever imagine. It hurt to bend over, to reach for anything with my right arm, to touch anything. My right armpit hurt all over again. I woke up Friday to find a big bruise on my chest area. I've been very lucky to have a wonderful husband who has really done his best to help out around the house so I can rest and not do anything to further injure the area. He has helped with grocery shopping, taking Natalie to and from school, keeping us all fed, and the laundry done. He's managed to do all this while working himself and being sick. I spoke with my doctors’ office and was told that most likely I just over did it when I was feeling better, and I agree. I knew there would be some degree of pain, but to be virtually pain-free then revert back was not normal. I think I tried to do too much around the house too fast, which I will have to remember for my next appointment. I go back for my next injection on 10/24. I want to make sure that I don't do this again; I cannot be down for week at a time, especially with how fast moving this all is going to be. At least today I am feeling slightly better, although I still feel lightheaded when I first get up, and like puking on occasion. Aren't you glad I shared? I know TMI.
On with another note, something I forgot to mention earlier - when I spent the night in UMC I had a wonderful roommate who had been in a terrible car accident. Her name was Laurie (hope I spelled it correctly) I forgot her last name, and the name of the construction company she worked for, but my hubby and I spent much time talking with her and her parents. They were wonderful people. She checked on my much of the night (when she was awake - she said it was the 1st night she slept in 2 days or more). She had gorgeous flowers everywhere from her clients wishing her well as she broke her arm & leg in the accident. She had been in some desperate need of contact lens solution, so I had my hubby bring mine in, and upon leaving she gave me one of her big, huge, beautiful bouquets of flowers. Where ever you are Laurie, I hope you are doing well and I think about you daily, as you struggle with your 3 months bed and house rest before you are able to return to work again. Take care and know we are thinking of you!

October 3, 2005 - Packing is a bitch!

Tomorrow we leave for Vegas, and I gotta tell you I'm still quite stressed over the whole thing. It seems everywhere I look there's something needing to be done. I still have 6 pages in my album to finish, so no way that's going to happen and I'm mad as all hell about that. I've got dishes to do, laundry to fold, and I have to pack clothes yet for my daughter, plus of course all those last minute items like toothbrushes, medicines, etc. I just know I'm going to forget something like food for the dog or something. I tried to spend some time relaxing this weekend, but it's hard to when your stomach is all tied up in knots and you've still got a bit of a head cold. Thankfully, I think the cold part is gone, or so I hope. Otherwise, I will be one pissed off bitch if they cancel this surgery on me due to it. I got my paperwork in the mail last week and it looks like they moved up my surgery time, but they didn't include much for instructions.....like can I wear a bra after? After my mastectomy I couldn't wear one for 6 weeks, because the elastic cuts off blood supply. I was also hoping for some info regarding the saline injections. I feel like the rest of the year is in limbo because I don't know when I will have to fly to Vegas for them. My husband laid in bed last night and asked me if I minded inviting his family up for Thanksgiving. I told him it didn't matter to me, the only thing that is of importance is that I cannot stress. He doesn't understand the whole little stress thing really, but then again he's not slightly neurotic like me. I have this need to have order in my life. I cannot live in chaos, even though I find myself living in it everyday. I just don't know how to deal with it, it causes anxiety and stress. It's a disorder I have, I know this. So I told him let's do one thing at a time, let's just get past the surgery first and see what our next step is before we go planning the future. So we'll see how Thursday goes, and what my schedule is for my injections. For now I will just take a deep breathe and try to go with the flow as hard as that may be......but on the flipside, I saw a Victoria Secret's commercial last night and for thr first time this year I actually said, man I miss having boobs like that! It sure will be nice when this is all over and I am whole again!
And if I get a chance while I am gone, I will post about my daughter's little kindergarten romance going on at school.....that is if I am up to it between doctors appointments and parents and all.