September 28, 2005 - Learning to cope with stress.

In my last post Ruben was gone for over a week in Vegas on business and I felt like a single mother and it sucked. Once he returned home, he rushed off the following day to Reno for 3 days on business, and once again we were left on our own. Things were finally back to normal (somewhat) over last weekend, but then after school on Monday Natalie came down with a cold and both of us have been holed up at the house the last two days sick. I'm hoping tomorrow she will be better and be able to go back to school. I'm really starting to panic that next week, I will be in Vegas having surgery. I broke out with that damn rash on my face twice back to back - so I'm beginiing to think it's not all sun or heat related and maybe more stess or anxiety related. This woman at Nat's school, another parent suggested that maybe it's Lupus. Wonderful, another thing for me to worry about. Lupus cannot be diagnosed, or cured - so how do I know if I have it and what do I do for it? All I know is that this is no longer acne, and I can't hide indoors all the time. I know that I have to learn how to cope with stress, but in the meantime I also need to find treatment for this rash. I am also having a lot of anxiety at this time, I'm worried about going back for the surgery. I'm worried about the pain, I'm worried about me being sick and them cancelling it on me, I'm worried that this will be the last time I see my parents for a long time as the finally sold their house and are moving to Mexico. It's a lot of things hitting me all at once, and I just realized it today. I freaked out on my husband the other day, and I don't even know what for, but it was because I was stressed out. I guess it's because I have all of this building up inside of me, and I feel like I can't breathe anymore. It sucks, because I am so stressed and I have 8 more pages to do in this album that is a gift for a friend, and I am so stressed I have scrapper's block, so now I don't even know if I will be able to complete the album by next Tuesday or not, but I'm hoping that maybe by posting this it will let off some steam and maybe I'll be back to scrappin this weekend.
In the meantime, does anyone know of any good ways to deal with stress that doesn't include taking any herbal supplements?

Septmeber 16, 2005 - Life as a Single Mom SUCKS!

Now now, don't go taking that the wrong way. Ruben and I didn't decide to suddenly file for divorce, nor would we ever. We have too much invested in this marriage, and even still like every marriage after 6+ years, it is still a work in progress. Besides we love each other too much to seperate. What I meant though, is that this past week he has been out of town on a business trip and I am playing single mommy, and it sucks something fierce! My daughter is consuming every free second I have, and I am finding it almost impossible just to shower, let alone have 5 minutes in the bathroom to myself! Even the 3 hours she is away at school is a total waste. By time I run to town and do some grocery shopping, I have to race back to pick her up, so it's not like I have much time to do anything around here. By time I start something, it's time to call it quits to go pick her up. I tell ya, I really don't know how they do it. I don't even work, thank god, cause if I wasn't a SAHM, I would be even more stressed out and exhausted! I really have to give a standing ovation to all those single mothers out there that do this every day and make it work. You truly are amazing women!
I was really hoping to accomplish some scrapping while the hubby was gone, as I've got all these supplies and pictures calling out to me - but I just haven't been able to find the time to do anything other than add some new pictures to my Flickr account. I figured it was overdue! I also added some new links to some of my favorite blogs. My hubby comes back on Sunday, so hopefully then I will get some scrapping done, and will have some new creation to post on Monday. But until then check out the new items I mentioned, and have a wonderful weekend!

September 11, 2005 - A Day for Tribute

While today is a day to remember those lost on 9/11 by honoring their memory, their stories, and our great nation. I was doing a tribute of of my own of a different nature. You see, yesterday my hubby left for a business trip to Vegas and will be gone for more than a week. So, on this day I thought about him, knowing his flight safely arrived in Vegas yesterday afternoon, and scrapped a LO of him and our daughter. Now while the LO might be rather plain or simple, the reason it I love it so much and it deserves so much attention is that I took these picture one night at dinner on my Palm Zire 72 camera that is only 1.2 MP. The pictures came out so unbeleivably great, they came to be my absolute favorites. It's not often that I get a smile like that out of my hubby since he hates taking pictures, and they both look so genuinely happy!
I hope you all enjoy my tribute to my husband, the World's Best Dad!

September 8, 2005 - Tidbits of somewhat useless information!

It's funny how just a regular haircut can become so meaningful to someone who just a few short months ago was damn near completely bald. Well on Labor Day that's just what happened to me, and it just tickeled me pink! My hair had finally grown out enough that I actually woke up every morning with hair sticking up every direction. Funny how a little thing like a case of bedhead can excite you. I found myself gelling it every day and finally said that the quickest way to get it to grow is to get it cut every 6-8 weeks, or at least that is what Hope my stylist always told me. So Monday night the hubby got out the clippers and gave me a slight buzz cut, being extremely careful not to do more than anything than just trim it up a bit. I still find myself gelling it daily, but at least now it's a clean cut look.
Yesterday my hubby took my Durango with him to work and stopped by the muffler shop and had a FlowMaster put on it to help increase my gas mileage. Now it sounds just like his Ram. I feel like I'm driving a Nascar, and even though it is a tidbit loud, I am loving it. It sounds so manly! I love revving the engine, but worry that it's going to end up getting me a ticket for speeding.
Tomorrow is picture day at the school. I'm so excited, it will be my first "official" school picture of her to scrap! I've already picked out several different outfits because I just can't make up my mind. Funny thing is I'm co-ordinating her clothes with scrap paper in mind....hahaha. What a true scrapper I am!

September 3, 2005 - A Busy Little Bee

As I have mentioned in a previous post, I've caught that little scrappin' bug and I've just been one busy little bee! In the last 7 days, I have created 6 new layouts - all of which are posted on My Scrap Bio or on 2 Peas in a Bucket (links to both are on the side.) Prior to having numerous health problems this year, I had a goal of getting published in one of the scrapbooking magazines I subscribe to. Although it hasn't happened yet for me, I am working had to try to achieve my goal before year end - and if all else fails, then I'm all the more closer to completing my scrap journal/book on surviving breast cancer. It is my hope to be able to share that scrapbook with everyone, and getting published is one way to get my story out there. So if you don't see posts from me as often as I would like, it's because I am hard at work scrappin' and trying to adjust to my new life as a kindergarten mom - as if I weren't already tired enough, running my daughter back and forth to school is even more tiring! But regardless, I hope to post my work and other little tidbits on here at least weekly.

Above is my latest creation. It took me most of the afternoon to complete as I have to take lots of breaks to prevent the pain in my arm from killing me. Hope you like it!

The journaling reads:
Shortly after finding out that I had Breast Cancer and that we would have to move to Las Vegas for chemotherapy, we debated about how we would tell Natalie about my condition.

Then one day she looked at me and said something about me being sick. I asked her why she said that; thinking in the back of my mind, Oh God she figured out what all the whispered conversations were of. She replied by saying I was sick because of that, pointing to the acne on my face. To which I laughed off telling her that acne does not mean that Mommy is sick, it just means that Mommy is stressed. But I told her that she was right, Mommy is sick and that is why we were going to Las Vegas, so grandma and the doctors can take care of Mommy and make her better. I told her that the doctor is going to give me medicine to make me better, but the medicine will also make my hair fall out. I told her just because my hair falls out, it doesn’t mean that I am going to die, and it doesn’t mean that I’m not still Mommy; it only means that I will be funny looking for a while. I told her that if she didn’t like me bald, then I could wear hats, wigs, or scarves – whatever made her happy, and if she still wasn’t happy with the way I looked that I would let her draw on my head with markers. And that made her so excited she couldn’t wait for my hair to fall out just so she could draw on my head with markers!