I'm Baaaaaaaaaaack!!!!

Well, after taking nearly a year and a half off from blogging here I am returning--why you might ask? Well it just so seems that I may or may not have cancer again. That's right folks, THE BIG C may be back for another visit. Strangely enough, I learned of this possibility just 3 years, 1 month, and 7 days after my previous diagnosis--which some of you may recall had been a recurrence which I found out about on exactly the 3rd anniversary of my original diagnosis. So yep, this possibly means cancer for me 3 times in just 6 years all at the age of 37. Isn't life just grand?

I'll have to backtrack a bit, but I'll tell you all about how this 'diagnosis' came to be...
I'm not 100% sure when this actually started, as I've experienced ongoing chronic pain ever since my original cancer and the chemo I endured in 2005. The pain was widespread for the most part; effecting the shins of my legs, hips, and lower back. Aside from the pain, which I was told was a result of the chemo and Neulasta injections -- I also experienced widespread tingling pain caused by nerve neuropathy, another result of chemo and from nerve damage which occurred during surgery. So for many, many years now I have been under the care of a pain management specialist. I've tried all kinds of different drug combinations that essentially weren't effective for either the pain I had, my low tolerance for it, or for my high tolerance to many of the pain medications available. Sometime after moving to New Orleans in 2006 I got in with a doctor that figured out the right combo to make the pain manageable, and not over-drug me in the process. Things had been trucking along just fine, and for a period of time it even seemed as though things had been improving. In Spring of 2009 I began a weight loss journey, that included eating 'healthier' and being more active. As I began walking, biking, and eventually some lite jogging, I noticed some slight improvements in my pain levels. So in 2010 I asked for a reduction in my short-acting pain meds, as the pain in my legs had improved. I still had issues with my back, so my doctor suggested these x-ray guided injections that would block the pain and offer a few months worth of relief. He sent me out to get an MRI done on my lower back, along with a series of x-rays to check for rheumatoid arthritis. Everything came back okay with the exception of my L4-5 showing bulging, degenerative discs. According to the doctor, these kinds of back issues typically respond well to back injections. I had my injections done the Friday before Thanksgiving, and was somewhat disappointed because I didn't feel like I was experiencing any real immediate relief. I decided to wait it out thinking it might take some time to notice. That's when I realized that my typical pain across my lower back region was better, however I was experiencing pain up a little on my right side under my shoulder blade and just a bit of pain around my left hip region. By this time it was already December, and I had thought that maybe I had been sitting funny or over-compensating in some way and that was why I was feeling this new pain. I tried to get in early to see my doctor, but he was all booked up and like an idiot I didn't press cause I didn't see how anything was related. By January my hip pain grew increasingly worse, bringing me to tears for a number of days as my sciatica nerve acted up. Finally, I had a friend take me to the ER cause I couldn't stand the pain anymore. While I was there I explained everything to them thinking that perhaps the injections had pinched a nerve or something. I was convinced at this point it was all related to the injections, and the ER doctor did some kind of rectal exam explaining they were checking for some kind of neurological symptoms or something to that effect, but everything was fine then. They gave me a shot of Kenelog and a short-acting pain killer... I say short-acting because it wore off before I ever even left the ER. They wanted to admit me for pain, but I refused since my daughter's birthday party was being held at my house the next day. Lucky for me when I woke up I was feeling 10 times better thanks to the steroid injection! However, the side effects I experienced from it was less than pleasant! I began having pain in the breast bone almost immediately, and within days my right eye socket had nearly swollen shut. I consulted with a urgent care doctor about the swelling of my eye after my dentist told me it looked like a neurological problem, but the doctor didn't really know what the cause was without further tests, just told me it would be fine and to come back if it happened again. As far as the chest pain, I was told that steroids do strange things to your body. As days passed my eye got better, as did some of my pain. I still had quite a bit of pain in my left hip region that left me limping around. I finally got in to see the doctor on 1/24 and I questioned if everything was connected to the pain injections I had gotten, and of course the answer I had gotten was a big fat no. I didn't really understand at the time why, but I'm guessing it had to do with different regions of my back and different groups of nerves. As January turned to February I continued to complain more and more about the pain as it was not improving and I was taking more of my immediate relief pain meds. My doctor referred me out to physical therapy, but after much debate I decided not to go until I found out what was actually wrong with my hip. I decided it would be in my best interest to request a follow up MRI at my March appointment, we also discussed possibly doing more pain injections, this time in several different spots in my back and into my hip. We scheduled a Lumbar MRI for the following week, with the injections to follow a few weeks later. The PA from my pain doctor's office called me shortly after my MRI with a preliminary report to let me know that my once 'bulging' discs were now torn at the L4-L5, and that it was in no way related to my previous injections because of where the tears were located at. We decided to proceed with more injections that we set up for mid-March when my pain management doctor returned to the office. Since my pain management doctor had been out of town the final MRI report had been sent to his in-box and sat until he returned. So when he returned and reviewed the report he found that the finalized report showed much more than just tears. He called me first thing Monday morning before my scheduled injection to let me know that it appeared I had metastatic disease present in my spine and wanted to refer me out ASAP to an oncologist for a biopsy and/or further testing. It was at this point my injections were cancelled and it was full steam ahead.....

Time Flies

I just realized I haven't blogged in over 2 weeks! I just haven't really felt much like writing. I think it's lack of material. Or maybe I've just gotten bored with it after four years. I haven't decided yet if I want to put this blog to bed, so for now I just take little breaks here and there.

Everyone should be getting their prize packs by tomorrow. I gave all the contact info to Victor earlier this week, who sent the packs out the same day. If you were chosen as a winner, then be on the lookout for yours.

My recent tests went well. It seems I was worked up and nervous about nothing. Each scan came back clear. They didn't even detect any cysts on my liver like what was found last time. I'll follow up again in 4-6 months for more scans. It's a huge relief to know everything is still ok. I asked the doctor how long I've actually been in remission. I never knew if it technically began once I started Tamoxifen, or if it began once radiation was complete. Technically speaking, it began with my first clear scan following surgery to remove the tumor. Which was when I hoped it had started. That puts me at 1 1/2 years in remission--half way to the dreaded 3 year mark. Once I get passed 3 years I will feel better, though statistically speaking I won't be in the clear till I reach 5 years. After that, my chance for a recurrence goes down every year.

This is our last weekend with Danny here. He's feeling homesick, so he's going back to Vegas on Sunday. I can't believe that he's been here for 6 months already. Time really does fly! His leaving is going to be bittersweet. It will be nice to have the house back after all this time....will be able to walk down to the dryer in my panties and not worry about someone else being home. Yet, he's been such a HUGE help around the house. Ruben hasn't had to cut grass since spring, and I haven't done dishes in just as long. But I understand he's homesick and misses his momma. Believe me, I tried to talk him into staying till at least Thanksgiving, but he's been ready to go home for a while now. So tomorrow we're going up to Baton Rouge to take him out to the Cracker Barrel to eat.

His flight leaves early Sunday afternoon, so I had to ask a neighbor if they could watch Natalie cause Ruben & I will be going to the Saints game. This is our last game other than the Dallas game in December. Well, unless Ruben's friend gives us tickets to a game cause they can't make it--but with the season they are having, I doubt they will want to miss a game. Ruben still gets to go to one game with Dave, unless the boys let us wives go--which would be nice!! I looked into getting tickets for another game, but this season's home games are sold out. Those who are selling their unused tickets are asking way too much. I'd love to head up to St. Louis to catch them play the Rams, but with Danny leaving we have no one to watch Natalie. Maybe next year we can catch an away game.

Best Team in the League!

OMG, did you happen to catch yesterday's Saints game? WOW! It was incredible! The hubby and I were among the Who Dat Nation in attendance at the Dome yesterday. We got there a bit early to beat the traffic and find a decent parking spot, and boy am I glad we did. The Dome was PACKED. I was surprised by how many Giants fans there were. We had 4 of them sitting a few rows ahead of us, and I almost felt sorry for them cause everyone was giving them such a hard time. But then I remembered they were Giants fans, so I joined in. LOL. We were on fire! The crowd was so loud, and had so much energy. I've never enjoyed a game quite like that. In fact I'm still pretty hoarse today from all the screaming I did.

Before the game started, I was all concerned because as it turns out the rumors are true. Reggie's back with Kardashian. I am not a fan of that union, not at all. But surprisingly, he played pretty good. Unlike some of the previous games where he had fumbled the ball. So maybe she's not the Simpson to his Romo. Doesn't matter though, I still don't like her.

Our next game won't be until sometime in November, not sure which game yet though. We're sharing season tickets with one of Ruben's co-workers, and they don't usually decide who's going to what game till the Friday before. Though I do know we will be at the Cowboy game in December. Other than that, I don't know if we'll be going to one or two other games. Ruben and Dave went to the Season opener, so instead of having four games each, we now only have three games and one where Ruben and Dave will likely go again. Unless of course somehow Erin and I are lucky enough to get the tickets instead. Doubt it will happen, but I guess there's always a chance. Or maybe we'll just get the extra game cause they travel around a lot for their kids BMX races.

All I know is I'm really looking forward to the next game. I was on the Saints website this morning and saw an ad that got me thinking about going to an away game. I don't think we'd be able to pull it off this season, cause in a few weeks my brother in law will be going back to Vegas. Which will make traveling a bit more difficult cause we will have to factor in our daughter and the dog. I was eying the November 15th game at St. Louis. Once upon a time Ruben had been a Rams fan - and they did win the Superbowl the day we got married back in 2000. But it would be hard for me to go there and not see my friends, whom I haven't seen in 15-20 years. Besides, I'm already planning a trip there in January. So I've just got to be patient. I think it would be better to plan something out for next season anyway. Then again, they are having an awesome season NOW! I'm so terribly impatient! However, Ruben just set me straight. With his current workload this class, it's just not possible. Bummer, there goes that idea!

So what else has been going on around here? Just the usual. I know I've been away for a while. I'm really slacking, but it seems that it's not just me. A lot of my fellow bloggers are only posting monthly now, and while I don't want to do it, I find myself doing it just cause there isn't anything noteworthy going on. I mean seriously, do you really want to hear me go on and on about errands or my weight loss? I didn't think so. Though I will say the weight loss is going well, though it has slowed a bit. Which is likely my own fault because I've been cheating on the weekends, drinking and eating regular food. Stadium food is enough to get you every time! On the health front I was reminded last week that it is time for my 4 month check up. So come Friday I will be having chest, ab & pelvic CT scans done - along with lots of bloodwork. I'll be seeing my oncologist ont he 26th for the results. Though I am nervous, I'm sure everything will be okay. It's just the anxiety of waiting and wondering. But I will be sure to keep everyone posted.

Also, I'm still waiting to get info from Kimberlee & Debbie. Once I have their info, I will be contacting everyone to let them know I'm passing along their info to Celebration 4 Life.

Winners

I need the following people to email me their contact info, so they can receive their prize pack:

-Kimberlee Cook
-Enola
-Debbie

Everyone else, I have email addresses for, and will be contacting you shortly to get your address from you.

Please send your email to: MLSSBUGS@AOL.COM

A Celebration 4 Life Giveaway

I’m back with that special announcement I told y'all to watch for! Since October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, we're going to do something special. The folks over at A Celebration 4 Life wanna give away some goodies! Here's the details:

One cap and one cooling neck wrap can be all yours if you enter this giveaway. And if you win, you’ll get to choose the cap and wrap of your choice. Pretty generous, huh? It gets better.

Celebration 4 Life will award 12 winners. Yes, 12. So be sure to leave a comment (but only one) so you have a chance at getting these great goods.

Here’s exactly what you need to do:

• Visit this site and leave a comment below sharing the model number of both the cap and cooling neck wrap you want (note: Caps with the thin reflective bands are standard size, and the ones with the wider reflective bands are smaller).
• Leave your comment no later than 5PM CT on Monday, October 12, 2009.
• You may enter only once.
• Open to legal residents of the 50 United States, and the District of Columbia, who are 18 and older.
• Twelve winners will be selected in a random drawing.
• Twelve winners will receive one cap ($13) and one cooling neck wrap, ($5), valued at $18.
• Winners will be notified by email and in a post on this blog, so make sure to check next week to find out if you’ve won!

Before you leave the Celebration 4 Life site, check out their free downloads, and use them if you can. OK, that’s all. Good Luck!

****DATE REVISED TO ALLOW MORE PEOPLE TO ENTER THE DRAWING****

Celebration 4 Life

I owe a big thanks to Jacki Donaldson. Over the past couple years, she has passed along to me several great opportunities. The most recent has been with a gentleman from A Celebration 4 Life™, a company I had never heard of until a couple weeks ago. So, let me start off by telling you a little about the company, then products they carry.

Life™ products are an expression of a State of Mind. The symbol was developed after Victor had lost his Mother to pancreatic cancer. As this is HER symbol, he ensures that all Life™ products are of excellent quality. The products focus on celebrating life by spreading positive and hope-filled statements.

The Life™ symbol offers: Hope, Optimism, Gratitude, Abundance, Empowerment, Vitality, Energy, Freedom, Possibilities, Joy, Aliveness, Purpose, and Perception of Endless Potential.
It reminds us that there are always options. It gives us Belief in Possibilities versus beliefs in tragic outcomes. It allows us to Celebrate each precious moment of Life and it helps us recognize the importance of these moments.

I am so honored that Jacki recommended me to Victor, and thankful to be a part of this. I like the message these products send, and what the Life™ symbol itself stands for. Victor graciously sent me a sampling of his products--which let me tell you were far more superior than what I expected.

My favorite is this Cancer Sucks t-shirt. I like the message it sends, plus I am totally a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl. You can pick up the t-shirts for $13, which is really quite reasonable given that they're 100% pre-shrunk, silk-screened cotton.







I'm really excited about this Keep Cool Bandanna. It's going to be great for my afternoon bike rides, since it is still pretty hot and humid here in Louisiana! It's just $5, made from 100% cotton, it cools body temperature for hours and it's reusable.









This hat, which is just $13 will also come in handy for my evening bike rides since it has reflective strips on it. The mesh will help keep my head cool, and it's completely adjustable. But best of all is the embroidered logo on it. I love the raised surface of it.





Oh, the best part of all, is that most of these products are also offered in other 'cause' colors, so it's not just breast cancer stuff. You can pick your color when you place an order (toll-free at 866-756-8078 or online).

National Breast Cancer Awareness Month

National Breast Cancer Awareness Month is almost here!! I know in many areas The Race for the Cure coincides. Even though I don't plan on participating in any races this year, I do still try to support them.

My 'sister-survivor' Christina in Texas is participating in her local race in 10 days, and had these great custom t-shirts printed up. Obviously, I cannot be in Texas for the race, but that didn't stop me from making a donation and buying one of the awesome survivor shirts - which I am waiting patiently for the mailman to deliver. I do believe I ordered the black one, but upon further examination of the fine print on her Facebook Fan Page, only the pink t-shirts will say survivor on them. So I'm actually not sure which I am getting, since I am in fact a survivor. Oh well, it doesn't matter much cause it's supporting the cause which truly matters. Either way, are these not some cool shirts?












Today when I went in for my doctors appointment over at Ochsner Baptist Hospital, there was a woman near the check in desk that was signing people up for the race. She had this awesome shirt with her, but I was afraid it would only be available to those who signed up. So I asked about them, half expecting to have to enter. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that the shirts had nothing to do with the race, but were just items for sale. All proceeds to benefit Ochsner's Cancer Services. Now, I've never dealt with Ochsner's program before, as last year I saw an MD Anderson affiliate over at East Jefferson Hospital, but I have heard wonderful things about Ochsner's Cancer Services. I really like this shirt because it incorporates the fluer-de-lys that is a integral part of Louisiana. What about this shirt, isn't it just great? I just LOVE the slogan!


















So, with Breast Cancer Awareness Month right around the corner, I just wanted to make an announcement that sometime next week I will be making a special post as I am participating in a giveaway for Celebration 4 Life. Stay tuned for details!!

The Funniest Video I've Seen in a While

New Moon Trailer

While I'm still looking forward to seeing New Moon, I'm not anticipating it nearly as much as I did Twilight. Perhaps it would help if I had someone to go see it with, rather than go by myself on opening day like I did last year. There's no way my husband would be caught dead in the theater. Hell he'll barely even admit to watching Twilight in his own home. If asked, he will say that he was forced to endure it. I'll admit these films are a bit on the cheesy side, and honestly, they don't really do the books any justice at all. But they're not all bad. Yeah sure, I don't really care for the way they did the whole wolf thing....it looks cartoonish, and the acting and dialogue can both be bad at times. But hot half naked men certainly makes up for all the faults - or at least it does in my book. Enjoy!!

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

Never Forget

Where were you 8 years ago today?

I remember being in my car, on my way to work, listening to KOMP. It was just after 6:30 when they made an announcement about the first attack. I couldn't believe what my ears were hearing. I thought it had been some kind of cruel joke. So I called and woke my husband up, who had just went to bed a few hours earlier cause he was working swing shift then. I made him turn on the news to see if it had been true, and was saddened to learn it was. Once at work, I couldn't concentrate on anything but the news. A co-worker of mine had brought a little portable TV with her to work. Most of us had gathered around to watch the breaking news reports.

It's hard to believe that it's been 8 years already, as it still feels like it was yesterday.

This Kid Has Some Moves....

I found this video over at VP's blog, so I had to share it with y'all. Enjoy :)

I couldn't resist doing this :)

Ruben's going to kill me for this!

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Car Lust

I'm trying my damnedest to talk my hubby into letting me buy a new car!

Kicking it into Overdrive

As many of you know already, in May I began a crusade to lose weight. I've been working pretty hard for the last 4 months, though in all honesty I did not lose any weight while Ruben's mom was here visiting or while at Disney World. It took all I had not to gain weight then!

I started off walking 2 miles a day and restricting my calories to 1500 or less. It was kinda hard at first. I had to give up all my favorite things....steak, soda, junk food. I'd like to think I am living healthier now, though I am by no means the picture of perfect health. I was even able to get Ruben to give it a try. I switched from walking to biking a couple miles. A couple miles then turned to 4, then 5. Last night I biked 7.5 miles and it felt great. So I decided to mix it up a bit, and added 500 crunches and a mix of pelvic thrusts and butt lifts prior to bed.

Sure, I woke this morning feeling a little bit sore, but that didn't stop me from repeating the regimen this morning. It feels good, and I think that somewhere along the lines I've kinda become addicted to working out. Or at least I hope that's the case and I'm not just pushing myself harder, trying to achieve too much too fast. I know that if I stick with this I'll reach most of my goals by my birthday.

I told you how I wanted to lose weight for my trip. Ideally, before going back I'd like to be the size I was when I left. Ultimately, I'd prefer the size I was before we moved to Hawaii in 1991, though I'd be happy to settle for the size I was when my first husband and I split up in 1994 and I moved to Vegas.

Anyway, in the 4 months since May I have managed to lose 30 pounds and a total of 30 inches from my bust, arms, waist, hips, thighs, calves. The biggest loss has been the 7 inches I've taken off my hips, with a 5 inch loss from my waist coming in at second. I still can't really see the difference. I can tell that my panties are too big cause no matter what they are ALWAYS uncomfortable. Even my smaller size shirts can be a bit roomy, but there hasn't been a real major difference. At least not one that I can see.

Ruben's closing in on about 28 pounds now and is wearing pants that are 2 sizes smaller. He's catching up with me FAST, which means that I'm just going to have to work harder cause I'd imagine that I'm probably about to platue here real soon.

Any suggestions as to what to do to keep it going?

Post Op Recovery

I think this has probably been the easiest surgical procedure I've had done yet. Either that or I'm getting too used to it all. I had my surgery on the 24th, which lasted a little over 2 hours. They took me back just after 11am, and I was in my room eating a turkey sandwich by 2:30. By 3pm we were already headed on our way to the grocery store on our way home. I came home and didn't even take a nap or anything. Not just that, but I was up and alert the very next morning. Ruben says I was running up and down the steps, which is a bit of an exaggeration. I wasn't quite running. I truly felt great though. Even the dreaded drain didn't even really bother me much this time. But he placed it somewhere other than my side this time, which made a HUGE difference in my level of comfort.

Yesterday I had my drain and staples removed. I was a little worried going in cause my whole left breast is yellow. But I was told that it is doing real good. The yellow should be the last phase of the bruise. It was bruised because he did a little lipo on one area to try and remove the lumpy tissue. I'm still pretty swollen, but it feels as though I still have some lumpy areas. It's never going to be perfect, but it does look 100% better than it did before, because it's now in the correct position. Not only do I look even, I look like I have so much more volume even though the size of the implants did not change.

So since everything was ok, I was even given the okay to go ahead and resume biking or walking as long as I didn't over do it. So last night I took a 4.5 mile ride. It actually felt really great to get back on the bike again - which means that I have gone completely mad. I mean, who ever would have thought a day would come that I actually look forward to exercising? But I'm glad that I'm actually getting there and not despising it so much. I've lost a couple more pounds, which brings me to a grand total of 40 pounds lost so far. Though, I still for the life of me can't tell where I've lost it at. Yeah, my new pants - which are 4 sizes smaller than what I used to wear, are starting to feel a little baggy. But not quite enough to go down to the next size yet. I'm looking to start doubling my biking miles. I think I'm going to add about a mile a week. I'm planning on going back to see some friends in Illinois sometime after my birthday. It's what I told Ruben I wanted for my birthday, though what I really want is a new Camaro - but I know realistically, I cannot ask or expect him to buy me a $45k car as a gift. So instead, I'm going to fly back for an extended weekend - not sure which just yet, meet up with some friends, have some drinks, reminisce and have a good time. Part of my prerequisite for going is to get back down to the size I was when I left - or at least close to it. I'm pushing towards losing 60 pounds in like 23 weeks. Wish me luck, cause it won't be easy!

Ruben has also done a fab job of losing some weight. He's at like 25 pounds now, but still has a ways to go to get that motorcycle he wants. The only problem is that he just started his first class towards his Bachelors last week, and he's got to figure out some time management cause school is kicking his ass and he needs time to walk, spend with his family, and of course watch football.

Speaking of football, we'll be at Thursday's pre-season game between the Saints and Dolphins. I'm really excited about it. I still don't have a clue about the game or how it's played, but I like being there. Ruben is trying to teach me all the terms. We'll see how much I actually pick up!

The Aftermath of Katrina

New Orleans, Still a Forgotten City

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Every Scar Tells a Story

Jacki Donaldson, writer for That's Fit is featuring my port-a-cath scar revision story over at her Breast Cancer Blog, CancerSpot.org . Please stop by and check it out!

I like this tree

Every day I ride my bike through the neighborhood. And every time I go
through this one area I stop to admire this live oak. Isn't it
gorgeous? Well today I finally remembered to stop and take a picture.
It looks like the ones you see in movies. This is a southern oak at
it's finest.

Today on my ride I had a beautiful stray lab running next to me. I was
going to take a picture but by time I got my phone out of my pocket he
had got tired and stopped. Maybe next time.

Come Monday this should look better

Monday I will be checking into the hospital for my ELEVENTH breast surgery. Hopefully this will be my last one. Aside from removing capsular contracture, and repositioning my implant, my surgeon is going to perform a revision to my port-a-cath scar. It's not much, but this scar hurts like a sonabitch. I can't stand to have my seatbelt across my shoulder. And whatever you do, don't touch it cause I still have some of those nylon sutures in the midst of all this scar tissue. So I'm really hoping that will all change come next week and it's all healed. So say bye bye ugliness!

Rain, rain go away!

Today I was out running errands before my surgery on Monday, and let me just say the weather was god-awful. I got soaked on several occasions. It seems to have let up now, so I'm debating about whether or not I should go for my bike ride or not. I'm afraid it will start raining half way through it.