New Moon Footage

Just wanted to share some New Moon footage that was shown at Comic Con this year. I'm not sure when there will be an official release of these trailers, as this footage was not to be seen by anyone outside of Comic Con. But someone was kind enough to break the rules, tape this, and post it on YouTube. Enjoy.

whatsa been going on around here

Sorry I've been neglecting my blog lately. Did you miss me? It started out as necessity, as I had to send my laptop into HP for some repairs. I had other computers I coulda used, but the desktop screen in my studio generates so much freaken heat - and that's not really something you want to do when the weather's warmed up and the air is on. So basically I took a bit of a break, and amazingly enough I found that I could live without it. Does that mean that I'm quitting my blog? Hellfreaken no! I just took the time out to enjoy life, and to be honest every since I was struck with cancer in 2005, I think I had forgotten how to live and have fun.

For the past 4 years I've basically holed myself upstairs away from everyone and everything. I didn't have much family time except for maybe once a week and it was my own fault. Dealing with depression is hard. It's even harder when you eat your feelings, cause the fatter you get the more depressed you get. It's all a vicious cycle, and I'm ready to break free of it. I'm just not sure how to do it yet. Which is why I've already decided on Lap Band surgery. That way I can just start new. I'll be forced to develop new eating habits - and quite honestly working out alone just doesn't cut it. I've tried to eat good, I gave up soda, I walked and none of that shit worked. I have too many things working against it all. They don't perform gastric bypass really anymore, so my only other option is a gastric sleeve - but it's a relatively new procedure and the Lap Band just seems so less complicated. Plus I figure if I'm going to shell out my $750 out of pocket expense to get my one surgery done, I might as well get all the procedures I can that I need done this year. I just have to find out if the insurance will cover it, but I'm doubting they will deny it since I have had cancer twice, among other things.

Anyway, these last few weeks I have spent more time with my family - we've watched movies (Bolt, Twilight, Role Models, Zack & Miri, Step Brothers and a few others), we've played video games (Guitar Hero WT, Street Fighter 4, Resident Evil 5, Bolt), we started and finished our landscaping for now (we did our part stimulating the economy with our 2 trips to Home Depot), we attempted a nice Saturday at the zoo (but little did we know it was Earth Fest and the 27,000 people in attendance turned us away after a 2 hour drive to try to get there....traffic and parking were a complete mess.) I've enjoyed a bit of time to myself, meaning my schedule was pretty open compared to my 3 or 4 appointments a week. I've developed another new addiction in the form of fragrance lamps. I've bought 3 within a week, and have already been through 2 bottles of oil. I was skeptical at first, but a neighbor let me use her lamp and I found it's so much better than a regular candle. My favorite scent is Creme Brulee for Orleans Candles. I'm still rocking the glasses, but I'm hoping that will all change tomorrow. I've been sporting them for a month now! My head hurts every night....not to mention my neck, but I'm still not sure why I've had this neck problem. I still think it's cause my expanders are crushing everything and pinched a nerve. Speaking of my expanders, my right one hurts like hell! Ruben and I were throwing the football around Saturday and I missed the ball and it hit me in the chest. I know, it was completely stupid of me to do - and I am paying for it now, believe you me! It hurt so bad the first night I thought maybe I busted the expander or was developing a hematoma....but I never did bruise, so I guess all is okay. I see my plastic surgeon this week for my pre-op. Only two more weeks, yay! I'm hoping that my Vitamin D count is back up enough so it won't interfere with my surgery, as I've really been making an effort to get some time in the sun as of late - and so far it has not really affected my rosacea, though I still have some healing red marks. Yup, life has been pretty good these last few weeks, I'd even go as far as to say great except for the damn pain I've had. Oh and I've still got the insomnia. For some reason unknown to me, I can only fall sleep listening to my iPod now.....and going to bed with Skullcandy earbuds in is not exactly comfortable. I'm hoping that it's just the pain of everything and the stress of waiting for surgery that is giving me sleeping trouble.

Oh yeah, I was one of those crazy Twi-Moms that was standing in a line, winding around the floor of Wal-mart of 100 or more at midnight on Friday. I think just about all the tweens in my lil suburb town were there waiting for 12:01. The two girls in front of me were squealing so much I had to put my earbuds in and listen to music cause I just could take it anymore! I made Ruben and everyone watch it Saturday night, and as I expected Ruben not only disliked it, but he talked crap all through out it. Every time Edward would come in view he called him George and cracked jokes. Yea, I will admit the movie is a bit cheesy. I think the books are far better. Ruben just thought it was a real cheesy chick flick and totally failed to see the love story underneath it all. He just doesn't get that all girls want an Edward - not a vampire, but a man that is hopelessly and endlessly in love with them. I guess I'm a bit of a romantic at heart. There was no doubt that Natalie loved the movie and is officially Team Edward. Can't say that I blame her, though Jacob is cute too - but those boys are much too young for me, even though they are legal. But who doesn't like a lil eye candy from time to time?

We also got Natalie's hair cut this weekend, so here's a shot of her hamming it up, followed by some pix of the yard.....I just realized I've really been lagging on taking pix too. Now that it's spring maybe I can get some good ones outside this next weekend.

Recent Ramblings

So much to share I don't know where to start.....

• First off it appears my holidays are safe from the awful chemo treatment. My search for a new doctor will take a while as for one place I am on a waiting list to be called and assigned an appointment - and the other place needs my medical records first which I am trying to gather from the many doctors who have been involved on this case. So a big sigh of releif there!
• We are done with all our Christmas shopping - however it all still needs to be wrapped, packages sent and of course I still need to stuff the envelopes so that I can get the cards out this week. Blah! But at least all the rope light wrapping is soon to be done for this year at least. Yay!
• Friday Natalie has an appointment to meet with a board from the Arts Program for Gifted and Talented Children. I've had a few request to post her work, but I have yet to get her drawings back that were used in their decision. I swear though, I will post some work just as soon as I can!
• In case you were wondering - yes we still have major drama issue going around over here. We are totally fed up with the situation and say to hell with them all cause it's not just the kids saying mean things to Natalie like "all of you are fat, stupid and ugly", or one coming to our house though he's not allowed by his parents to come play here, he still comes just to ask her friend that is over playing to come play with him and not invite Natalie. It's become such a rude, ridiculous intrusion that we no longer allow it to happen after the 3 attempts he made this weekend. Oh and then after a whole day and a half, when it came time to go home - these so called friends gave Natalie's friend a hard time for staying the night and didn't want to play with her anymore. It's ridiculous and I'm tired of it. The parents are just as bad as their rotten kids are. They gossip and cause drama just as much as any high school student does. We were labeled as outcasts before anyone ever even attempted to get to know us - that's how small minded and immature these people are. They're all trying to one up the others, they all act like best friends yet the second one of them walks away the other is all bad mouthing them. It's insane. But you know what? I don't give a fuck what these morons think of me or my family. They don't know us in even the slightest bit - but whatever. Ruben and I will just stick to the general pleasantries if we must, and remain friends with the few who truly deserve it. We've learned to keep our mouths shut cause each time we say something, someone twists our words and tells all the neighbors some screwed up version of what used to be the truth! Neither of us will waste one more second dealing with their hypocritical double standard bullshit.....ya know what really ticks me off? I expected this kind of crap in Vegas, but not here. What the hell happened to southern hospitality and charm? I expected them all to have manners, not act like some hillbilly white trash inbreeds. Yeah, see, I can be judgemental too.....ok, time for a new subject.
• I finished reading the 4th and final novel in the Twilight Series. I really liked the series, though it got a bit strange in some parts. For the most part though, it did stay true to the whole forbidden love story that drew you in in the first place. Oh I think I forgot to mention that I also saw the movie on opening night at twilight amidst a bunch of oohing and aahing tween girls. The movie stuck mostly to the book, though I did find some areas particularly cheesy. You can tell they did it on a low budget. Speaking of low budget movies - I caught The Lost Boys The Tribe on TNT last week. Oh man, straight to DVD then it's shown on cable in the middle of the night. Ugh. Let me just say it deserved it too cause it was pretty crappy. Shoulda just been a made for TV piece. They tried to keep Corey Feldman looking young and playing the same role he did in the first 20 years ago. However Corey Haim outgrew his baby face and ability to look so young. I think they cut all his scenes but the last one which made you wonder what the hell has happened in the last 20 years. The original was such a cult classic and the 2nd was just a piece of crap that should never have been made. I'm glad Ruben talked me out of buying the DVD when it came out - but I'm sure a bunch of Corey fans bought it.

Reading is good for the mind

I know I said it's become an addiction, but I think obsession is more like it - though I prefer to just think of it as reading is good for the mind. And since I start chemo next week I need to make my mind stronger so not to lose all my thoughts or memories! Seriously, 3+ years later and I still suffer daily from chemo brain. Another round of it and my daughter will be smarter than I. Pathetic I know. So I'm hoping through reading that I will be able to at least prevent some of that fogginess! As it is I won't be able to do much in regards to the increasing fatigue, nausea, or pain. See now why I didn't want to do it? It's not just the losing the hair part! Though I don't want to, bald is so much more low maintenance. Hell shampoo isn't even a requirement!

All I ask is for my mind to stay strong - otherwise I will be attending school with my child!

It's become an addiction

Had another awful doctor visit. My pain management doctor is leaving
to his Mississippi practice. Therefore I have to find a replacement
doctor fast. Sigh.
My order didn't arrive as I expected so I stopped in Barnes & Noble to
pick up New Moon. The 2nd book in the Twilight saga. I'll have to
return my online order once I receive it. I just couldn't help it
though. I've grown attached to Edward and Bella as silly as that
seems. I mean really who falls in love with characters from a book?
But right now it's the one thing keeping me from becoming completely
depressed - as sad as that sounds. Sigh.

All Done

Four hundred and some odd pages later and I'm all done. I started reading Monday evening and I've hardly been able to put the book done. I loved it all and I can't wait to see the movie. I'm hoping that I will feel up to it Tuesday afternoon - after all, I do start chemo Monday...or so is the plan. I have a doctor appointment tomorrow afternoon. My car is in the shop till Friday, but I have a nice little rental. Friday aside from having to pick up my car, I will also have to pick up my diamond bracelet - which lost another stone; and sit through a 2 1/2 hour chemo class even though I have been through chemo before. What a waste of time. Oh and I so hope books 2-4 show up before Monday cause now I'm out of reading material! Ugh! I didn't think I would finish it so fast! I read the whole thing in 2 nights! I had no idea I would be so into it. I can't even recall the last time I read a real, adult book - LOL! So now it's either scrap or go watch TV till bed. The hubby is at the Hornets game with Natalie - and quite frankly I'm just still not in a creative mood which sucks since I already began a project! With my impending chemo we've even called off Thanksgiving. Instead of me cooking, I believe we intend to order a prepared feast. Which hurts to do cause Thanksgiving is so sentimental to me. But I just don't feel up to it. In fact my mood is so bad about the last few weeks that I've even called off our yearly photo session. Yeah, I know - me not wanting to take pictures, OMG it's serious! So no Christmas photo this year and I haven't even lost my hair yet! I'm just sulking right now and really don't feel like doing much. So on that note I think I will go lay down and watch TV since I have to impatiently wait for UPS to come deliver my other books. Sigh.

Excuse my Abscence

After my Muga Scan on Monday - which was successful(!) we went to
Barnes & Noble so I could pick up a book for chemo. Well instead of
buying the series I intended to, I instead was drawn to buy Twilight.
Let me just say I am enthralled into this book! I read half between
last night and this morning. I've read so much that I had to go online
and buy the other 3 in the series so of have something to pass the
time during chemo. I'm so into it that I think I just might see the
movie once it opens.
Ok now back to my book.