A little of this, a little of that, a whole lotta post....

Well, here it is - the start of summer vacation. More than two whole months of no school, cause down here there is no such thing as year round school. So for those of you with kids who are out for the summer, what are your plans for summer break? We don't have much planned really, and luckily I don't work, so there's no child care issues like some families have.

Right now the plan is just to enjoy our 3 weeks with my Mother-in-Law, who safely landed late Saturday evening. After much hard work busting our asses, we managed to pretty thoroughly clean our house before she arrived. If we hadn't cleaned up, I guarantee you that she'd be spending her whole vacation here cleaning. Which pretty much defeats the purpose of a vacation, right? As it is, she's been cooking up a storm, which is making it extremely difficult to eat right.

In the last week, I've cheated quite a bit - we went to see Night at the Museum last Friday and I drank half a large soda and enjoyed a cinnamon pretzel. Then for dinner I had a hamburger at this awesome burger joint. And now she's here cooking things like rice, beans, tacos, and other delightful Mexican dishes. I'm trying hard not to over-do it, but it's not easy. I try to treat myself just a bit. I've not been able to lose any weight this past week, but I have been fortunate enough not to have gained any back. Not helping matters any is the 24 pack of Coke bottles I found at Sam's Club. I kicked my daily soda habit, only indulging in an occasional drink. But I have such a love of soda from actual glass bottles, that it was impossible for me to pass them up at Sam's. So for the time being, I'm not to having more than one a day if even that.

Did y'all watch the MTV Movie Awards? The part where Bruno (a.k.a Sasha Baron Cohen) landed bare-butt in the face of Eminem was funny as all hell. That is until I found out the whole thing was staged.

Bruno Lands On Eminem

I truly think that was the best moment of the night, though the much anticipated trailer of New Moon was right up there with it. So far New Moon looks to be done up a bit better than Twilight was, though I must say that the werewolf is a bit disappointing as it looks a bit cartoonish. What did you think of it?


I found the rest of the awards disappointing. Yeah, I liked the movie Twilight, but Dark Knight should have won the award for best movie hands down. Twilight isn't even in the same league as Dark Knight. So how that crappy little low budget flick beat out the 2nd highest grossing movie of all time is beyond me.

Monday afternoon I got the camera of my dreams. My wonderful hubby decided out of the blue that I should get the camera that I've been wanting for the last couple years. He bought me a Nikon D5000 12.3mp DSLR. It is so awesome, and I have so much to learn about using it. The package we bought came with 2 Nikon VR lenses; a 18-55mm and 55-200mm, and lots of other goodies. I haven't really had the chance to play with it too much, but I plan on maybe taking it out this weekend if the weather is nice. I want to go take some pictures at City Park and Audubon Park. I'll be sure to post pix as soon as I can.

Today we are finally getting our new windows installed, which I'm oddly excited about. Right now I'm sitting here sans air and windows while the guys pull out and replace the old windows. Luckily it's not quite as hot and humid as it was supposed to be, though according to AOL weather it's 80 something degrees right now. These new windows look so nice. I just wish this whole experience had been more pleasant. We've run into some really bad customer service, or should I say lack of customer service from Window World. It's been so bad I doubt I would recommend them to anyone else. With having 30 windows in our house, and the cost to replace those 30 windows we should have been treated a bit better!

Today my oncologists office called. My insurance denied approval for my follow-up PET scan, so instead we are going to do a CAT scan on Tuesday. I will meet with the doctor the following day to get the results. Let's hope this new breast cancer medicine has actually been working for the last 6 months and my scan comes back clear. I can't bear to go through this cancer shit again. Twice in a lifetime is twice too many, know what I mean? Though I have been neglecting my blog the last 2 months, I swear to post just as soon as I know the results.....and I promise to at least attempt to blog more often from now on. I've just been putting it off cause there hasn't been much of anything going on in my life, especially anything exciting. But I've had a decline in visits, so I need to step it up!

Finally! The 3rd Time's a Charm...

I spent most of last night and all of my waiting time at the oncologists this morning sorting through medical records from multiple doctors. I finally weeded through them, sorted them, put them in order and destroyed the many, many dupes. My files ended up being reduced to nearly half of the original size - which made it way more easier to discuss the files with my new oncologist. I went in there with an open mind, hoping for reasonable treatment options. After all this was actually the 3rd oncologist I've seen, though I must say I had no issues with the original doctor - I was just told they had an office closer to my house so I switched offices. It was the doctor in that office that told me 6 months.

We reviewed my cancer history, pathology, and treatments. I explained to him what my last oncologist recommended, and why I disagreed. I told him what I was hoping to achieve and that I had no issues with doing chemo if it was really necessary - but that I could not see any reason why it would be. After listening and looking through my records he performed an exam, during which he asked me if I happened to be a nurse. I said no and asked why. He told me that I was very knowledgeable on the subject and asked how I came to be so. I explained to him how I work with some breast cancer communities writing, answering questions, and helping women who have been diagnosed with breast cancer. He applauded my efforts for educating myself and helping others. I guess he doesn't get a lot of patients like me. I know all the ins and outs of my disease, but I tried real hard to make sure I didn't come off too strong. I didn't want him to think I was hard headed or would only do things my way. When I pointed out how Femara failed to do it's job of preventing my estrogen from binding with my cancer cells, he pointed out that it wasn't just the hormone therapy that failed me - chemo failed me as well. He told me that since chemo failed me and because I've already had a recurrence I am at a higher risk for it to return elsewhere in my body, but he agreed that doing chemo at this point is not the answer. Before he puts me on Tamoxifen he wants me to get another PET scan, which will show if I have any suspicious activity going on anywhere in my body. My last PET scan was clear but it had taken place back in April - a lot could have happened since then as I have not been on any AI meds. So providing that this next scan they are scheduling for the end of the month is clean and that my blood test is ok, he's totally in agreement with skipping chemo and going straight to hormone therapy. He even said that even if I hadn't requested this course of treatment, he still would have recommended it for me. If this scan comes back clean - and lets hope it does - all I would need to do is start a daily regimen of Tamoxifen, have my blood drawn quarterly to check the cancer markers, and get scans done every 6 months....and by scans I mean PET, Chest, Bone and/or Dexa scans. It looks like I just may have finally found the right doctor - how about that?

Why is it that things never go as planned?

Here's another day coming and going that I won't scrap. The dog groomer is here and I'm waiting for Lexie to be done - then I'm hoping to head into town to hit the mall or Target, if I have time. Yesterday my day consisted of bills and reconciliation. I may not be an accountant anymore, but old habits die hard - it's month end and still the same ol' routine nonetheless. Tonight I'm supposed to go to Sam's Club with the neighbor to buy things for our Halloween block part.....yeah, I'm giving up an evening of Grey's Anatomy for Sam's. Sick I know? Tomorrow my day is shot cause Natalie's school is hosting their Octoberfest, which is more like a Halloween festival. Then I have to prepare the meatballs I plan to make for the party, set up or help with the whole thing, then trick or treating. Yay! Doing it in our neighborhood is definitely going to be different for us. Usually we go to the other side of town where like a whole sub-division holds a block party. We'll see how this pans out. It's hard to get everyone involved, especially since we don't know those who live outside our particular area. So needless to say there won't be hundreds here like we're used to!

Earlier I checked in with my oncologist to find out if he had gotten my samples and or test results yet cause I was supposed to see him on the 3rd - but he doesn't have everything, so my appointment got pushed back to the 10th. Great, another week trying not to wonder and worry. I.must.keep.scrapping....at least for the sake of my own sanity! Then on the 12th I will finally get to see my plastic surgeon. It's been like 3 months I think - and despite my best efforts, I have been unable to "push" my expanders into place. Not sure if he'll be happy with that - all I know is my left one is really bothering me. I'm tired of it pushing on my rib! But I am hoping to have details to tell regarding my treatment, though I think that my surgery or injections will still get pushed off for another month or two. I say that cause though the redness from my radiation burn is gone, I am still pretty dark brown - like a nice summer base coat tan. I also think it will get pushed back cause I wore a bra a while ago, in hopes of "pushing" my expanders away from my ribs. Well the under wire left me with some kinds of mark. Not quite a bruise, but it was reddish, then brown and took well over a week for it to fade. So we'll see.

Also, over the last 2 weeks I have manage to completely give up my hardcore soda addiction. I switched it for tea. I figure sweetened tea has less calories than consuming 3 sodas a day. Well I can surely tell that the tea has more caffeine in it. Three glasses a day and I can feel my heart thumping in my chest. So I think I may need to cut back on when I have my last glass, though not much really affects my sleeping these days. But it must be working cause Natalie told me that she can tell I have lost some weight - and I have, a bit...though I'm sure that my drinking 6 Coors Light with the neighbors didn't help matters any!

The Big Day is FINALLY Here!!!

Everyone knows I've been on edge the last few weeks stressed out over this whole recurrent cancer diagnosis - and have chest ct scan, bone scan, and pet ct scan results that I can't hardly make sense of. Well today is the day I have been waiting for, the day I get into Ochsner Oncology Department to meet with my new oncologist and go over all my records and hopefully find out what the plans are. Whether I will be doing chemotherapy again, radiation treatment, or both - and also how my actual meds may be changed as I now take Femara, and I could be changed to Tamoxifen or others. I'm also curious about why I have had so much bone pain - after just a few step my knees and ankle hurt so bad I feel like someone could easily break one by kicking my ankle, or if I stumbled, tripped and fell.

Also, I wanted to share with those of you who may not be familiar with this . A co-worker of Ruben's bought me a subscription to the Daily Word, which is The Silent Unity Magazine. You all know that I have not or am not a highly religious person. I've been scorned and lack faith - but I am SLOWLY giving it another chance, especially during this period when I so badly need help. I have on my mother's wedding ring, Natalie's Our Lady of Guadalupe necklace charm, and I SWEAR that while eating lunch at Kenner waiting to have my bone scan, I saw a man who was the spitting image of my deceased 101 year old grand father. Sometimes I believe in good luck charms, and friendly sights to help you get by. I have even given prayer a try. Every night before bed I try to remember to pray - and not just for myself, but for all my friends, family and loved ones. It's not an easy task, but I am trying. I figure with so many others praying for me, then I should pray too - right? Doesn't hurt to try!

Anyway, if you are familiar with the Daily Word, then you know how each day has a different meaning. Such as today:
Daily Word — Tuesday, April 1, 2008 — Trust
I trust God with all my heart. I am confident, wise, and strong.
When I am considering making a major decision, I may spend time questioning myself and others about the best recourse. Yet my best recourse is always to allow my mind and heart to be open to divine wisdom.
As I pray and trust God for right outcomes, I am able to sort through all the formerly tangled thoughts. I move past the differing opinions, uncertain situations, and threads of confusion to the heart of the matter. With a clarity of mind, I act with confidence, wisdom, and strength.
Prayer benefits me and everyone else affected by the choices I make because God is my partner and co creator in all things. I trust God for all that makes my life complete, and I trust that God will guide me to be the greatest blessing I can be to others.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight.” —Proverbs 3:5

Much of this isn't far off base, as I feel that I am confident, wise and strong. I trust in myself, now I just need to learn to let go of the reigns and hand my life over and trust in someone else without doubt. It will take time, but eventually I will be there. I think that prayer will help me a lot this time, and maybe we can avoid the depression part of it all. Anyway, I better get ready for my appointment. I'll let you know as soon as I know something! Fingers crossed for some good news!