One down one to go

Followed up at the PS office today. I made an appointment to be seen because I didn't like the way my left side was healing. In fact I guess you could say it wasn't healing. Some of the tissue around the incision site was dying, as it was black. Since my right side was healing up nicely, they went ahead and removed the drain tube from that side, but left my staples intact. Not sure when they will remove the staples, most likely once my left side starts draining less and the tube is ready to be taken out. But since I have tissue that has turned black and is dying on the left side I have to go meet with an on-call doctor tomorrow (my actual PS is out of town, and won't be back for another week.) So this on-call doctor that I am supposed to see tomorrow is going to cut me open in his office, trim away the dead tissue, and suture it closed once again. It doesn't sound like much fun. In fact it sounds pretty damn painful, but I'm sure he will give me some local anesthetic to ease the pain. All in all it's better than going back into the hospital, and a hell of a lot better than having the tissue expander removed and being told I have to wait 6 months before trying reconstruction again - which is what happened when reconstruction failed last time on my right breast. So tomorrow morning I will just get up, take my pain meds and a xanax to chill my ass out. Hopefully it will be enough to withstand a panic attack. I've noticed since my surgery that when I've had panic attacks lately that my chest muscles seize up. They tighten and won't relax no matter how hard I try to calm down. Trust me, it is NOT a pleasant feeling! Luckily when they removed the breast tissue from the left side, the doctor left plenty of loose skin around the tissue expander, so them having to cut away the dead tissue is no problem. Wish me luck!! I'll let you know how it goes.