Not sure where to begin.......

Ever have those moments that are both filled with so much relief, yet so much anxiety? Something that feels so good to get off your chest, but still hurts so much! That even through the venting, pain and tears - you are still incredibly pissed off.

It's no secret that the last 19 months since my mother's death has been an uphill battle with my so called step-father. According to my husband he saw this one coming. I should have seen the signs too. She dies and before we know it, she's being sent out to be cremated - no goodbyes at the morgue, no autopsy (now I wonder why, could it have been something other than liver chirrosis?), no slightly more expensive funeral/viewing service - instead went with the cheap no body, picture & flowers kind (the ones he didn't even pay for - flowers & pic). Once her cremated body comes back, he gives the urn to my brother - not wanting to take a single ash with him, he split some of the ashes up between my other brother and I, then he got the fuck out of dodge - (see Lora, told you that I don't censor for anyone!). Since then he's pushed off resposibilities like helping to care for my mentally challenged brother - who when got cut off from Social Security, our piece of shit step dad made it impossible to help him financially. It was like pulling teeth. He said he would fly to Vegas to help him figure things out with SS, but showed up 4 months later AFTER I helped my brother determine what the issues where. Meantime my sister and I helped support him for about 3 or 4 months, and each time I told my stepdad about it, he bitched and complained that he couldn't afford it - all the while he's out drinking, smoking, traveling to Missouri, Canada, London & other places for 4 months. And now spending "winter" (approx. 3 mos.) in Mazatlan with some tramp - yet he's always complaining how broke he is. Must be NICE to be THAT broke! He rarily calls here, maybe every 2 or 3 months, and when we offered to BUY him a ticket to come visit for Mardi Gras (something he claimed he wanted to see) and see his granddaughter he DECLINED! I can't even begin to count how many nights she has cried over him, cause she loves and misses her grandpa so much. He didn't even call her for her birthday. The last time he called was at Christmas, and said the cards were in the mail, yet we haven't gotten a god damn thing. He called today and I asked him, didn't you get my message, he said no, I said the message about I don't want you calling here anymore. Obviously that call is what started all this, and he claims he called two weeks ago - I'd love to post my cell phone bill on here as proof, but I don't want all my readers knowing everyone's phone number! So anyway we are hoping that if we quit saying his name, that our daughter will just forget about him entirely. He's already broke my heart, that this is how I am treated after 17 years of marriage - that I am now the ugly red-headed step child that just gets pushed off to the corner. Well I'm tired of it. I won't allow for it to happen anymore. There's a will that supposedly everything is supposed to be split up evenly between the 6 kids (his 2, my mom's 4 - and I am to actually get my brother's share and be his "executor") yet his will states that his son Tom gets the house and the rest of us are to divide what is left. At the rate he is partying, there will be nothing left - besides, I really like how it is supposed to be equal, yet Tom get's the house. What a fucking dick. I remember when he fell 20 feet and landed on his head and how we all took care of him, and how worried my mom was that he might die - yet when she died he treated us all like shit. I don't even think that the man grieved. He may have actually been happy that she passed, happy cause he saw a way out. Now I can only think of two things, and neither are really good - but I am a firm beleiver in karma, and karma is gonna come back around and either drop him 20 feet onto his head and knock some sense into him - or - it's going to do major damage to his liver from all that partying and drinking he's been doing. Now that one there would be kind of ironic considering my mom died of liver failure and hadn't had a drink in at least 15 years!

I also wonder what the US government would think about the whole situation, drawing retired Navy pension, possible Social Security due to spousal death, not having a "real" US address, just a P.O. Box in TX. Hmm, I wonder if he's even filed any tax returns since my mom passed? I'm pretty sure that at least one of those would qualify as an illegal activity.

Yeah, you could say the word SCORNED fits me right about now, but you don't fuck with me or my family. He didn't deserve my mom, he sure the hell doesn't deserve us - but most of all, he doesn't deserve a dime she ever put into that marriage, including her life insurance. All of that should have went to her kids, like her original plan - all of it set up as a trust for my mentally challenged brother, because none of the rest of us need the money.

Anyone know of any really good lawyers?