~Grey~

In just two nights my world will start to crumble as I watch the 2 part season finale of Grey's Anatomy on Sunday and Monday. After that, what all will I do with myself? I mean it's pretty obvious at this point there is no Meredith and Dr. McDreamy, not after he practically called her a whore last week. That alone nearly broke my heart and made me want to quit watching, but then I though - hey the finale is coming, they have to have some big cliff hanger planned for it, right? So I still have SOME ounce of hope to hang on to. I'm also curious how this season will end for The Sopranos, and really hope that Big Love comes back for a 2nd season as I am soooooo hooked on it now! The only thing I have to look forward to this summer is the beginning of another season of Last Comic Standing - thank god, because I was worried it would be a long boring summer in Vegas....not to mention hot as hell also! My only other hope is to get some scrappin' done - that is if I'm still invited to Cynthia's house.
My mom HOPEFULLY should be well and on her way home, or at least that was the plan she mentioned to me the other day. I just hope that the doctor's do not find her to be in complete liver failure! Both my husband and I have offered to be tested to find out if either of us would be a match for a liver transplant. My useless brother did nothing of the sort. Instead his wife and kids went to Disneyland for a week, and hasn't called since. If she needs a new liver, she could die before ever getting one from a transplant list, and he's apparently alright with that. It was one thing when he never called, sent flowers or a card to me after finding out I had cancer. I decided then and there that I never wanted to see him or talk to him again - including his family. It was really hard for me not to pick up the phone and give him a piece of my mind by giving him a new asshole, but Ruben convinced me that he's not worth the time or the effort - but now that we are talking about our mother, the woman who carried him in her tummy full term, and housed, clothed, and fed him for 18 years of his life - not to mention bailed him out of just about every financial hole he dug himself into. This fuels a new rage and is really taking every little bit of effort I have not to go off on him and his wife. The only thing I can hope for is Karma, because if he ever needs a family member for anything, there won't be a single one of us around to answer his cry for help.
Okay, so enough complaining about my loser brother and his wife because I'm already starting to get a headache! My scrap room remodel is coming along just fine with LOTS of help from my husband. He wanted the desk drawers emptied so bad, that he got up early last weekend and did it himself. So now almost everthing is unpack, although nothing is near being organized! I've gotta get on it, so I can take some goodies with me to Vegas. I had been telling my Ob/Gyn doctor here that I've been feeling run down and have drank a few energy drinks to get me going or have taken some caffiene pills - basically, she told me that what I was doing was way bad. My immune system is shot, and if I am feeling run down, then I need to stop and rest, cause sleep is the only way to get over it. So needless to say, with my horrible immune system I have now gotten everyone in the house sick - yeah. I just love feeling like I'm going to cough up a lung, it reminds me of the days I used to smoke. It also makes me very thankful that I quit almost 7 years ago. It's one less cancer I have to worry about! But other than still feeling completely run down, I am happy to say I think my depression may finally be under control. This new medicine my doctor put me on is pretty effective at treating bi-polar disorders. I know, I know. Bi-polar, I thought the same thing. I thought it meant only extreme ups and downs, but I guess there are all kinds of bi-polar now. I never thought I would say I was in anyway bi-polar, but this new stuff he has me on has been working wonders. No more rage and tears coming from stress over being late. I still worry some, and I still have some panic attacks/anxiety attacks - but not nearly as bad. God before I could get so mad I thought I would or could seriously hurt someone, but my hysterical crying fits were the worst and I couldn't understand them because I have No hormone anymore, so what the hell was I crying about! But thankfully, I am somewhat back to the dysfunctional normal I was, or at least getting there. I'm even starting to cook again! Although I still have a long way to go yet, I just try to take things one day at a time.
Well it's off to bed for me, but over the next few days I should be updating my Flickr account with LOTS of new pictures. It's Spring here, and the cows are out everywhere! I'll have to explain that one later. But in the meantime, I will get Natalie's new Spring Graduation pictures I got from her school posted soon.....dunno why they won't post on here! First she's Graduating kindergarten and next thing you know she'll be driving. Time really does fly!